Iron Gods (Lords of Rust) #11: Digging Deeper

Today’s writeup ends on a bit of a cliffhanger! Muahahahah… –GM

15th day of Arodus, 4715 AR

As we searched around, we came to realize we had been fighting in a giant digging machine…

After we finished fighting the stupid beetles with hardness(!!!), we plugged the Crystal we looted from the crashed spaceship into a port which turned off all the lights and weakened Hellion, who just so happened to be an Artificial Intelligence.

All of a sudden, a bunch of Orcs burst through the door Jerry had been barricading and attacked us with one of the Lords of Rust, a two-headed ettin named Draigs. I sent an onslaught of bullets at him with my revolver I nicknamed The Last Word, while Tom unsuccessfully attempted to attack. We obliterated the boss and gruesomely mutilated its body!

As we searched around, we came to realize we had been fighting in a giant digging machine and found a four-armed demon named Zagmaander. He turned out to be an exile from the Lords of Rust and requested that we free him from his wretched curse that prevented him from traveling between dimensions.

A dark stalker and all its followers caught us off guard and enveloped us in deeper-darkness. I heard the screams of Poptart and Tom as they fell…

While we were talking to him a dark stalker and all its followers caught us off guard and enveloped us in deeper-darkness. I backed myself up against a wall and fumbled through my bag to find my mini gun.

As I completed assembling my gun, I heard the screams of Poptart and Tom as they fell. My friends’ screams gave way to screeches of pain followed by thumps as the minions of the Dark Stalker fell. Suddenly a lightning bolt from John Cena’s hands struck down three enemies and gave me a brief glimpse of Zagmaander paralyzing enemies with every blow…

-Bob’s Godfather (Torin)

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XP so far:

Bob’s Godfather – 26,554
Idanaw – 29,412
Jerry – 36,045
John Cena – 44,288
Poptart – 28,849
Tom – 34,531
Xanthra the Black – 42,688

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Iron Gods (Lords of Rust) #10: Death by Chainsaw

Our heroes venture further into the Lords of Rust’s hideout and meet their leader… –GM

15th day of Arodus, 4715 AR

Xanthra and John decided to jump into the green liquid and get eaten by a giant Chuul

It started with killing robots. Then I bull rushed through the door just to get surprised by a pile of gray boogers. We then proceeded to search every room setting up Frank’s minigun every time until we entered a cave/building thing. There was the creepy demon on the monitor which we smashed, yet somehow the platform we were on went dark for everyone else (I had darkvision). The creepy little monsters ran away and Xanthra and John decided to jump into the green liquid and get eaten by a giant Chuul. We killed it after I shouted at it and scared it underwater, dragging John with it. Luckily, he had death lightning bolts. So he blew its brains out and flew up with his body smeared with Chuul gore, as the room went dark again.

Xanthra fell off as an army of orcs, dark creepers, and a chainsaw psycho orc called Kulgara attacked us. John picked Xanthra up as I had a sudden recollection about how to kill the stupid she-orc. She forgot that she had a longbow so she was going to stand there and shout curses, but she went after Frank. Long story short: Frank died as he was running from a chainsaw-wielding psycho who eventually split his head open, and Bob’s Godfather (he’s not very nice) magically appeared, so we explored further the next day because John was useless (except for his claws).

The psycho chainsaw-wielding orc forgot she had a longbow and went after Frank.

-Jerry (Hunter)

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XP so far:

Bob’s Dad/Frank (R.I.P.) – 35,238
Idanaw – 28,337
Jerry – 33,220
John Cena – 42,138
Poptart – 25,624
Tom – 31,306
Xanthra the Black – 40,538

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Iron Gods (Lords of Rust) #9: Lords of Rust? More Like Lords of Scrub!

Xanthra (Marco) continues our tale, wherein our heroes finally take on the Lords of Rust…  –GM

13th day of Arodus, 4715 AR

We received a challenge from the Lords of Rust to do battle with them in their arena.. Their champion Helskarg was there, along with 2 ogres…

After we figured out who gets the loot, we decided to run back to Torch to buy more cool stuff. We upgraded our weapons and you guessed it, bought cool stuff. We soon left though, to arrive at Scrapwall and receive a challenge from the Lords of Rust to do battle with them in their arena the next day at 9am. We thought it over, and decided that we could beat them easily, and so the next day we were there.

Their champion Helskarg was there, along with 2 ogres. John Cena cast his defensive spells, then made me invisible. John Cena, Poptart, Frank, and Tom went out into the arena, while I ran all the way across, and waited, invisible, next to Helskarg’s chariot. I then proceed to give her a little present, in the form of me stabbing her in the back with my magical curve blade. John Cena then cast haste, and Frank blasted her with his O.P revolver. He scored a critical hit with it, and she was weakened to about half health with only 4 shots. She got mad and fired her Autograpnel through his chest, but he was still O.K.

Poptart and John Cena blasted her and her ogres with fireballs and lightning bolts, respectively, while I hit the ogres with a concussion grenade that left their heads hurting. Frank’s horse, running and hasted, flew forward, while Frank opened up on Helskarg and her ogres with his mounted minigun. Tom ran forward into a landmine, and nearly blew himself up, while her ogres were felled by another round of fireballs from Poptart.

Helskarg, like the wuss she was, decided to run away, and so John Cena hit her with a magic missile. She finally fell, and I quickly ran in and looted her corpse. She had some crappy armor and an awesome +1 autograpnel with some other enchantment that we weren’t able to identify. I took the autograpnel, and then as some little orc kids (awwww, so “cute”) went over to the ogre corpses to get the meat, a land mine blew them up! (so “sad”)

 

Iron Gods (Lords of Rust) #8: The Haunted Wreck

Eli (Poptart) continues our heroes’ tale, where they lifted the mist that was shrouding part of Scrapwall by exploring a derelict spaceship called the Chrysalis…  –GM

4th day of Arodus, 4715 AR

John Cena and Poptart cast light spells accomplishing nothing, for the mist inside the ship was too thick…

We started our journey with a shrouding mist over an unknown land.

Poptart, the healing slave, had the amazing idea to ask Dinvaya Lanalei, another cleric, about this land and we headed to a Church of Brigh. It didn’t take long to get there and, when we did, the priest was no help whatsoever. So now we embarked on the useful quest that this misty land held, our journey was far but no problems occurred on the way.

Eventually, we reached the shrouded land. There were two great doors that Bob’s Dad’s/Frank’s horse couldn’t fit through so we took it by foot. As we opened the doors, mist poured in, limiting our view to five feet.  John Cena and Poptart cast light spells accomplishing nothing, for the mist was too thick. As the adventurers looked around, they noticed they were in a spaceship and all thought LOOT! They ran down a hallway where there were 3 doors so they used their common sense and headed into the loud screeching door “GENIUS”. Bob’s Dad, Tom and Xanthra set in first but saw nothing except for rubble flying at their faces. They got scared and ran, but Tom was hurt so Poptart ran in and healed him only to be hit by a cup, taking one damage. Poptart knew it was undead poltergeists but couldn’t to anything because his turn was over. Tom ran, too, and John Cena came in looking for the invisible things.

The spooked scrubs outside cried there 1-4 rounds outside, as Poptart and John Cena took charge, casting spells blindly. Poptart was a cleric so he used his channeling to make a wave of light, rainbows, and not-so-fluffy Brigh unicorns, dealing 3d6 damage to the poltergeists and over time killing all three.

They set towards the door across the hall and saw a room of cryogenic pods filled with zombies. The party mowed them down in two turns and broke the door into another room containing a wraith and one zombie, which they destroyed. The wraith had no problem dealing a lot of damage until Frank and Poptart killed them both with their MLG poltergeist murder powers. The group was right about the loot, finding a gun that kills robots, plastic explosives, and a safe house egg thing.

-Eli (Poptart)

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XP so far:

Bob’s Dad/Frank – 29,108
Idanaw – 25,172
Jerry – 26,205
John Cena – 35,808
Poptart – 19,579
Tom – 25,261
Xanthra the Black – 29,670

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Iron Gods (Lords of Rust) #7: Our Home Under Siege!

28th day of Erastus, 4715 AR

Xanthra ran towards him, but he cast a spell, and the whole room was filled with deep darkness…

As soon as we defeated the weak robot beetles remaining, we decided to rest, while Frank (Bob’s Dad) went out to scavenge parts for his oh so important minigun mount on his horse.

We went to bed, then about one hour after Frank came back, approximately 3am, we were attacked! A sneaky little Dark Stalker came and tried to kill Tom! As he was just finishing cutting Tom’s head off, all of the sudden, he was spotted by Xanthra. She ran towards him, but he cast a spell, and the whole room was filled with deep darkness. He hit Xanthra and he did a whole lot of damage, but she was still on her feet.

She then stabbed him a couple of times and John Cena helped, but the Stalker ran away, so they were left with a more-than-half-dead Tom, and a room filled with darkness. John healed Tom a bit, then we all rested.

Two mornings later (after another day of Frank looking for spare parts), at 7am, as Xanthra was going outside to have a cup of coffee, Frank sounded the alarm! A horde of robot zombies was attacking! As Frank quickly set up his minigun, John Cena, Tom and Jerry rushed down to kill the undead threat. Xanthra, the quick thinker she is, gently put down her coffee, wiped her hands, and pulled out her longbow.

 

Iron Gods (Lords of Rust) #6: The Torch Lights

After the party triumphantly defeated the leadership of the Smilers gang, they headed back to Torch to sell their loot. Torin continues their tale. –GM

13th day of Erastus, 4715 AR

On our way to Torch, we ran into leathery, furry, nude bat-winged humanoid screechy creatures which proceeded to cream us…

After helping the Ratfolk to defeat the Smilers, we traded some of our gear for theirs. We struck a great bargain of a pistol for two cure light wound potions and three batteries. When trading was done, we had a long debate as to where we should go next. Eventually Frank decided he would make an ultimate super weapon which would be constructed on our way to Torch. On our way, we ran into leathery, furry, nude bat-winged humanoid screechy creatures which proceeded to cream us. Thankfully, John Cena arrived just in time to even the odds and secure our victory.

Upon arriving in Torch, Frank completed his super weapon and he sold our extra gear for cold hard cash. We then purchased two new horses to replace Frank’s skittish horse who fled during the battle and the horse Idonknow killed for no reason. In Torch, we discovered that the Torch Lights had claimed they had defeated the Lords of Rust. We knew this to be a lie and told the town the truth.

 

Iron Gods (Lords of Rust) #5: Raiding with the Ratfolk

When we last left our heroes, they had deposed Birdfood who was leading the Steel Hawks gang. Tom continues their tale… –GM

13th day of Erastus, 4715 AR

We told her of our mission here in Scrapwall and her eyes lit up as we described our eventual goal to defeat the Lords of Rust.

As the sun set and the group returned, laden down by packs filled with loot and new items, I knew our time in Torch was coming to a close. Three days prior to our departure, I began to enchant Tom’s greatsword, turning it from a useless piece of junk into a magical, keen, +1 piece of junk instead. He is now severely in debt and I am severely weighed down by ca-ca-ca-cash! We had an uneventful ride and we arrived in Scrapwall ready to resume our exploits.

After our previous failed attempt to meet Dinvaya Lanalei, we returned to her clockwork church, destroyed her junk Golem, and gave tidings we’d been asked to give her by her close friend, Joram Kyte, We told her of our mission here in Scrapwall and her eyes lit up as we described our eventual goal to defeat the Lords of Rust. In return, she told us more about Scrapwall, including how a new group of adventurers calling itself “the Torch Lights” had just come to town! She told us how those Lord of Rust infidels worshiped the god “Hellion” and prayed to him for unholy spells. Personally I don’t believe much in “Gods” but I know a lot about magic, and spells like that were no good news indeed. We knew then that our quest must be fulfilled in order for Scrapwall to ever return to the way it was before.

 

Iron Gods (Lords of Rust) #4: Still Smiling

When we last left our heroes, they had deposed Birdfood who was leading the Steel Hawks gang. Tom continues their tale… –GM

29th day of Sarenith, 4715 AR

I attacked the robotic arm, but because of the hardness it did no damage, so instead I climbed up and tried to disarm it but I failed. After that, some Smilers came out: three humans and an ogrekin…

First, we interrogated Birdfood by hitting him with elemental assault to the balls then killing him. We asked the leader of the Steel Hawks, Sevroth Slaid, to raid the Smilers or the Lords of Rust and she recommended to raid the Smilers.

John Cena, Idanaw and I all voted to raid the Smilers, so we attempted to attack them, and when I stepped near the wall a robotic arm shot me with a gun somehow attached to its hand. After that, John Cena set all the huts on fire while I attacked the arm, but because of the hardness it did no damage, so instead I climbed up and tried to disarm it but I failed and I tried doing that multiple times but I kept failing. After that, some Smilers came out: three normal humans and an ogrekin. After killing them, the door was locked with a chain and lock.

After we raided the Smilers, we made a banana tank wagon with John Cena’s knowledge of engineering and Poptart’s perception, then we rode to Torch, seeing tumbleweeds. Poptart succeeded in his perception check then evil tumbleweeds attacked Poptart.

 

After that, we found torch and sold all of the gear and equipment we didn’t want such as silverdisks, pistols, bullets, and longswords. Later, Idanaw crafted firearm bullets and alchemical cartridges and dragon’s breath cartridges. I spent all of my money so John Cena could make my greatsword keen to make my greatsword easier to get critical threats  By taking all my gold and making a spellcraft check and using a hero point and Taking 10 so he succeeds in making it keen.

–Tom (Tyler)

After we raided the Smilers, we made a banana tank wagon with John Cena’s knowledge of engineering and Poptart’s perception, then we rode to Torch, seeing tumbleweeds…

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XP so far:

Bob’s Dad – 15,210
Idanaw – 15,175
Jerry – 11,012
John Cena – 19,835
Poptart – 10,959
Tom – 22,335
Xanthra the Black – 17,010

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Iron Gods (Lords of Rust) #3: The Fall of a Sword Shifter

As half the party went ahead and encountered bandits at the outpost called Aldronard’s Grave, the other half hunted down Tom’s magic greatsword before joining up with them. Our psionic soulknife, Shifter, tells their story… –GM

21st day of Sarenith, 4715 AR

Sevroth Slaid offered us a sweet reward, information about the gangs of Scrapwall, if we brought back the leader of the Steel Hawks to her.

Dear Friends,

Tom, Idanaw and Bob’s Dad knocked out the half-orc and that other guy. Tom got his “Great”sword back, and they all bought horses. Found us without fighting any snakes, lucky.

We all walked to Scrapwall. Xanthra and I sneaked around and found a gate. Then our whole group chatted with the guard and a crowd gathered. We were taken to the second in command of the Steel-Hawks, a woman named Sevroth Slaid. She told us that the Steel Hawks were once the strongest gang before the Lords of Rust took over. We were offered a sweet reward, information about the gangs of Scrapwall, if we brought back the leader of the Steel Hawks to her.

The guy was a Smiler weirdo named Birdfood. He was put in charge by the Lords of Rust. We pretended we were selling him soothe. Of course it was Xanthra’s idea to attack the guy, when his pack of orcs were in the room. Long story short, I cheated death once, then I charged at the weakened Smiler with +12 missed, and I fell to the ground gasping and choking on my own blood. I could feel the fight draining out of me, I gazed up at John running toward the man who killed me and I whispered just before I died, “Not again.”

Thank goodness my little brother Jerry was there to replace me. He fought well and started to train as a more defensive Psionic class. THIS man almost critted our group something like 12 times.

After the fight I was in heaven and I saw my little brother Jerry fighting some zombies. Fighting alongside Tom, I am so proud of him. It’s almost as though he has been here all along….

–Striker (Hunter)

-Farewell, fair Striker! *sniff* GM

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XP so far:

Bob’s Dad – 14,135
Jerry – 10,087
John Cena – 16,985
Poptart – 10,534
Striker (R.I.P.) – 12,218
Tom – 14,885
Xanthra the Black – 15,485

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Iron Gods (Lords of Rust) #2: Origin of the Crimson Web

After stealing from the other adventuring party an android head and gun last week, our heroes now steal the other party’s quest and leave Torch for the gang-run town of Scrapwall! John Cena (Zack) relates what happened next! –GM

19th day of Sarenith, 4715 AR

Guess What? Things just got better. After wrecking the other noob party, Tom ran off to find his “greatsword” though I don’t see what’s so great about it if it can’t even kill people like those scrubs. Anyway, we made a tedious alliance with the local gang, the Ropefist Thugs, putting their name on our work so that we would get away clean. However, we soon realized that with those fools gone, we could be the ones going to Scrapwall to take on these Lords of Rust.

Over the wall, Xanthra saw disfigured cultist thugs roasting some type of flesh while surrounded by bodies of slain guards.

We ventured out, hoping that Tom, Bob’s Dad, and Poptart would soon catch up with us, and we journeyed day and night until one evening we were attacked by some snickty snakes! Naturally, we wrecked them too and soon had some more food for our journey. We eventually reached an odd fort, named Aldronard’s Grave that apparently had a “Plague.” Xanthra decided that this didn’t seem quite right, so she climbed the wall and proceeded to receive quite a shock from what she found. To distract the guard during this time, I had to fake being a mute, witchdoctor, and even full-out charge the man. However, Xanthra was promptly noticed when she began to attack the thugs, receiving a gas grenade for her efforts. I easily sprouted claws and climbed the wall to go to her aid, though some other members of the party had a bit of a problem with this menial task.