Category Archives: Rappan Athuk

Rappan Athuk #79: Brain Dead

In a missing chapter of our tale, the party further explored the Great Cavern and raided a lair of tentacled trees, ropers, before heading deeper into the dungeon in a level swarming with maggot-infested undead. Kung Fury continues their tale. (-GM)

24th day of Calistril, 4721 AR

We continued to explore the foreboding fungus caverns. We had yet to find a single living creature here besides me. The others didn’t have maggots infesting them, as was the only common characteristic of the zombies on this level, but I was sure they were dead. How else could they smell so bad?

There was a cave filled with troll zombies, goblin zombies, bug zombies, and human zombies, all of which we dispatched immediately. In the cave we found an intricately carved golden crown, which Shia identified as a major crown of blasting. The crown could fire a beam of light that was particularly potent against undead. I took it because none of the others could wear it; the crown wouldn’t fit over their stupid masks.

We walked down a tunnel which ended in a cave-in. Madrik wasn’t here to turn all the rocks to mud, so we had to clear it out ourselves. While we were doing so, more zombies attacked us. Deckard Cain conjured a wall of fire, which burned much of their overripe flesh, but also blocked me from due processing them. Eventually he turned it off, and I was able to see the horrors on the other side. Not only was there a zombie purple worm heading toward us, but I spotted a zombie dragon as well. Some lawful stupid knight probably went through all the effort to slay this dragon, but then was like “we must giveth it a proper burial” and dumped it here for us to deal with. We dealt with it all right.

That cave was mostly rubble, so we moved on to another cave. So many caves. Where did these people find so much limestone? Valestar sensed a big evil ahead, so we all got ready for a fight. We needn’t have worried, because there was only this creepy stone. It glowed an alien color that doesn’t have a name in this language, but is the same color as a purple worm. Shia said it was the Stone of Karsh, used by the armies of Orcus in the battle for Tsar. It animates the dead (surprise) and is really evil. We took it to the Pope to see if we could destroy it.

As we were standing on a grassy hill waiting for the Pope, I noticed my blood pressure rise. Shia said “You know, I just realized something. No matter what we do in our brief lives, the universe will eventually collapse and destroy all of our accomplishments. What’s the point of pretending that we can make anything last in this cold, harsh world? In the end, it will all become dust. No, better to side with destruction. Better to show the masses how easily their fleeting existence can end. I must show them the truth. I must be an agent of entropy.”

With that, he attacked us, and we all beat him up. It would have been like the fifth time Shia was killed by his companions, but luckily the Pope arrived and sent him to some rehabilitation center. His clergy got to work on researching the artifact.

It would be nice to end on that note, but we decided to keep exploring. There was a river which we went down, and a folding boat which we probably broke. Best climax ever, amirite?

Signing off,
Kung Fury (Nate)


Death from Somewhere Irrelevantly Far Away, tiefling slayer 16
Deckard Cain, aasimar flame oracle 15
Kung Fury, sylph martial artist monk 16
Madrik the Spell Thief, sylph wizard 16
Shia Labeouf, merfolk bard 10 / pathfinder chronicler 5
Valestar Ekhart, aasimar paladin 17

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Rappan Athuk #78: Roast and Meteor Swarm My Ropers

After the redemption of Valestar Ekhart, the party returned to the Great Cavern, with the flame oracle Deckard Cain in tow. They stood before a yawning cave mouth. Cain tells their story. (-GM) Read the rest of this entry »


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Rappan Athuk #77: The Final Test

Brooding amidst his muldane doldrums, the fallen paladin Valestar Ekhart continues to lead the party seeking redemption in the Great Cavern of Rappan Athuk.

18th day of Abadius, 4721 AR

Gugs are fugly.

After the party returned me to normal after being turned to stone, we kept wandering the dungeon. We found ourselves in a larger room with a bunch of gugs, large creatures with a gaping maw instead of a mouth. They roared, and we charged.

Despite being easily four times my size, they weren’t able to hit me, and their size made them clumsy. I was able to cut two down before any hit me, and DFSIFA finished off the others with a hail of arrows. The fight was over quickly, but we could hear more coming from the other opening of the room.

Madrik was almost out of spells, and we were all tired, so we decided to go home. Madrik quickly teleported us home and we all had a well-deserved rest.

Upon returning to the room, a couple of gugs that had been eating some rats roared in surprise and were hit with a few DFSIFA arrows. They went down, and we heard more coming. We ran down the tunnel and saw a group of them approaching. Madrik smiled and cast a spell and a wall of lava appeared right behind them. Jackie Chan ran forward and threw one into it, where it proceeded to shriek and melt from the intense heat. I ran forward and attacked them, and the combination of our two monks, DFSIFA, me, and them being pushed back towards the lava wall meant they didn’t last long.

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Rappan Athuk #76: I’m da boss, I’m da boss, I’m da boss, I’m da boss, I’m da boss… I’m da boss, I’m da boss, I’m da boss, I’m da boss, I’m da boss, I’m da boss.

We last left our heroes as they encountered powerful spellcasting mummies deep within Rappan Athuk. Stay awhile and listen as the flame oracle Deckard Cain tells us what happens next.

20th day of Kuthona, 4720 AR

Valestar had strode up to the mummy, but before he could get close enough to swing his sword the mummy pointed a withered finger at him and uttered a word in a guttural voice and in a flash our warrior was no longer there. DFSIFA was standing still, paralyzed by the mummies’ terrifying gaze.

Doomfist ran straight up to a mummy now, swinging his fist in a deadly uppercut, but as soon as he made eye contact with the creature he stopped, seemingly oblivious to the danger around him while he stared off into space.

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Rappan Athuk #75: The Great Cavern

The party keeps its promise to a floating eyeball and finds that the lead takes them to the most immense level yet. Valestar Ekhart narrates.

11th day of Neth, 4720 AR


After some brief argument, which mainly consisted of DFSIFA wanting to go down the tunnel to 3 levels down, and us saying no, we finally agreed to go deal with the other floating eyeball that the eye of the deep wanted us to deal with. This giant eyeball was trivial to fight, and our new friend Gundar was quite grateful. He gave us a magic sword, and despite its negligible value, I appreciated the gesture.

Madrik had us go to a huge cavern over a mile across, and we wandered for a while, only encountering a few gargoyles and some goblins hard at work mining. I yawned, as did everyone else, as it seemed that there was nothing to do besides skewer rats and walk.

Finally, we came upon a huge mushroom. It was actually one of many, as there appeared to me a fungus forest in front of us. We flew above it and it stretched as far as we could see. I saw a quick movement in the mushrooms and one of the smaller one walked out towards the party. We flew down and i donned my Helm of Comprehend Languages. We parlayed, and once it understood our intentions weren’t to harm them, many more mushroom people came out and oohed and aahed at us. One tugged on my leg and pointed. I followed it into the forest, and saw about 100 feet in front of me, a large troll tearing up their mushrooms. I shook my head, drew my sword, and charged it. I took it by surprise, and my flaming sword made it unable to regenerate. It was dead before it knew what had hit it, and all the mushrooms cheered.

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Rappan Athuk #74: Be Careful What You Wish For

This is a stirring tale that spans space, time… and dimensions. Kung Fury gathers himself after returning from his harrowing journey and tells the party’s story.

12th day of Lamashan, 4720 AR

Me, Madrik the Spell Thief and Deckard Cain were waiting at the house while the others were still trapped in the maze. They were in a room with black and white tiles, and like all rooms with clearly visible tiles, this one sprung a trap if you stepped on one. On the floor lay a mostly erased message that was written in chalk so it could be easily erased.

“__________________ entirely false.
Walk __________ true line ________;
follow _____ not step ____________.”

There was also a poem on the far wall which no one bothered to write down.

After a few hours of getting burned, sickened, slowed, teleported back to where they started, and, in Jackie Chan’s case, killed, they finally figured out that they needed to walk in a straight line through the middle. (Oh, and Valestar got chants of Orcus following him around, and became a strobe light. -GM) Most of them were cursed with something, and Valestar was recovering from a near-death experience, though otherwise he looked more able than usual. They entered the next room, which had a throne in it but nothing was magical.

At this point those of us back home got bored and decided to find where the others went. Madrik wrote and prepared a spell that would let us communicate via short telepathic messages. We told them to stay where they were so we could find them, and they described the room they were in. We tried to teleport to it, but because of the fascist entity inhabiting that level we ended up in a different room with four doors. After entering some more rooms, we found a room that looked exactly like the one they described to us, except they weren’t there and we sensed magic. After taking the coins that were lying around, I bravely decided to sit on this magical throne.

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Rappan Athuk #73: Mazes and Misdirection in the Massive Menacing Megadungeon

“Don’t split the party!” (-GM)

2nd day of Rova, 4720 AR

With the return of our map keeper, Madrik, we were off to another dark corner of Rappan Athuk. As we entered another large cavern, I felt the loss of Perseus more than ever, and I knew he would have loved to soar through the dark air, snacking on any bats that we chanced on.

We found a staircase leading us down to a white sand beach, and we saw a few giant scorpions in caves across the river. DFSIFA shot a few, and a stream of them started flowing out of the caves. DFSIFA kept firing arrows into the encroaching enemy, and even this exotic encounter decided that an encounter with an extraordinarily effectual entity such as us would not prove fruitful. Soon they had all retreated from whence they came, and we went through the door that DFSIFA noticed to our left.

It led us to a tiled hallway that twisted and turned for a while, and seemed to change behind us. Madrik threw his pen at the wall, as these strange halls were unmappable. We wandered for a while, and ended up at a door. It led to a square room with filthy murals in alcoves on each wall. With a little cleaning, they revealed scenes of evil-looking armies marching, with shadowy figures blasting spells at holy looking pursuers. DFSIFA searched the room and found nothing, so we moved on.

After another few hours of wandering and a quick fight with an ooze, we found another door, this time revealing a kite-shaped room with a small basin at the top and a small trough running from basin to a grate at the bottom. The room was empty save for a bloated corpse in the basin. Jackie Chan fished it out, and we grabbed his magical armor, sword and Helm of Underwater Action. We kept moving, and after more moving hallways and turns, we found another room. It was two long corridors of coffins with pictures of evil-looking warriors on them. DFSIFA thought one of the coffins next to us looked a little odd, and his instincts were spot on. As Jackie Chan got near it to inspect it, it grew a mouth and tried to bite him. Shia cried out that this was a mimic, and started rallying us with his cries. I shook my head and gave it a good stabbing. It didn’t last long between my swift sword strikes, Jackie Chan’s massive fists and DFSIFA’s arrows.

I saw a disturbance in the water down the tunnel, and I saw Madrik’s hand wave and then disappear.

The rest of the coffins were empty, so we kept moving. After another few winding passages, we found ourselves in a large cavern with a river running through it. There was a door about twenty feet to our right, and opening it nearly flooded the cavern. It seemed that the passage behind the door had been flooded, and by opening it, I had literally opened the floodgate. However, as the waters drained out of the room, I realized that Madrik and Deckard Cain had disappeared. I saw a disturbance in the water down the tunnel, and I saw Madrik’s hand wave and then disappear. I sighed, as he was our ticket home, not only having our maps but also the only one able to teleport us home. It was just Jackie Chan, DFSIFA, Shia and me. The party had been split by some mere water. I shook my head and tightened my grip on my sword.

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