Iron Gods (Lords of Rust) #9: Lords of Rust? More Like Lords of Scrub!

11 Aug

Xanthra (Marco) continues our tale, wherein our heroes finally take on the Lords of Rust…  –GM

13th day of Arodus, 4715 AR


We received a challenge from the Lords of Rust to do battle with them in their arena.. Their champion Helskarg was there, along with 2 ogres…

After we figured out who gets the loot, we decided to run back to Torch to buy more cool stuff. We upgraded our weapons and you guessed it, bought cool stuff. We soon left though, to arrive at Scrapwall and receive a challenge from the Lords of Rust to do battle with them in their arena the next day at 9am. We thought it over, and decided that we could beat them easily, and so the next day we were there.

Their champion Helskarg was there, along with 2 ogres. John Cena cast his defensive spells, then made me invisible. John Cena, Poptart, Frank, and Tom went out into the arena, while I ran all the way across, and waited, invisible, next to Helskarg’s chariot. I then proceed to give her a little present, in the form of me stabbing her in the back with my magical curve blade. John Cena then cast haste, and Frank blasted her with his O.P revolver. He scored a critical hit with it, and she was weakened to about half health with only 4 shots. She got mad and fired her Autograpnel through his chest, but he was still O.K.

Poptart and John Cena blasted her and her ogres with fireballs and lightning bolts, respectively, while I hit the ogres with a concussion grenade that left their heads hurting. Frank’s horse, running and hasted, flew forward, while Frank opened up on Helskarg and her ogres with his mounted minigun. Tom ran forward into a landmine, and nearly blew himself up, while her ogres were felled by another round of fireballs from Poptart.

Helskarg, like the wuss she was, decided to run away, and so John Cena hit her with a magic missile. She finally fell, and I quickly ran in and looted her corpse. She had some crappy armor and an awesome +1 autograpnel with some other enchantment that we weren’t able to identify. I took the autograpnel, and then as some little orc kids (awwww, so “cute”) went over to the ogre corpses to get the meat, a land mine blew them up! (so “sad”)

I realized that there were probably more mines, so I looked around. I found 3 more and disarmed them. As I was doing that, an old man approached me and made a preposition; if I cleared the entire arena of mines, he would give me 300 gold. I agreed, knowing this to be a good way to earn money. It turned out the the “mines” were actually just concussion grenades hooked up to crude pressure plates.


Some demon in a TV screen taunted us: “You now stand in Hellion’s domain. You must bow before your new god — me.”

Once finished, we decided to explore the passageway that Helskarg had come from. But first, a demon in a TV screen taunted us:

“You now stand in Hellion’s domain. You must bow before your new god — me. Accept me and kneel, and I shall suffer your presence. Deny me the obedience I deserve, and you shall be punished.” We ignored him and he cast a spell on us through the monitor. But we pressed on.

John Cena made me invisible and so I went down to explore the stairs. I found a locked door, and so I tried one of my grey access cards. It opened instantly, and all of the sudden I saw three confused looking ogres looking out into the passageway. One swung its club but it missed me because of my amazing jukes. I quickly went back up and told the rest of the group what I saw, then we went back down.

Frank set up his minigun in front of the door, then I quickly opened it from the side and he sprayed the ogres with bullets. I stood proudly in the corner, while the rest of the party did all of the work. When we went into the room, a face on a screen started talking to us and Tom was rude to it, so it cast a spell on him that made him really dumb.

We went to the next room, and we found a bunch of Lords of Scrub members. I ran up to their leader, a hobgoblin cleric, and gave him a pat on the back with my blade, and because of a critical hit I killed her instantly (and was proud of it). We quickly began attacking them, but the various screens around the room began casting spells on us, which made us very confused (literally). Then one of the screens made me into a werewolf, and because of my mental prowess, I resisted the confusion for a long time, and knocked them unconscious with my extended claws and teeth. Tom, however, wasn’t so lucky. In his confusion he attacked Frank who got quite mad at him.

The battle went well, and we finally were triumphant, but not after I finally succumbed to my confusion and took a delicious bite out of Poptart. He healed us all, then we smashed all the screens, because they had cast the spells on us in the first place. Poptart, even though he is the wimpiest of all of us, he scored a critical on one and gave it a bloody nose (logic). After they were all smashed, we looted the corpses. The loot wasn’t good, but we’ll see who gets it later.

Bye for now,
Xanthra (Marco)

XP so far:

Bob’s Dad/Frank – 31,988
Idanaw – 26,612
Jerry – 28,045
John Cena – 38,688
Poptart – 23,899
Tom – 29,581
Xanthra the Black – 36,090

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Posted by on August 11, 2015 in Campaign, Iron Gods 1, Pathfinder Chronicles


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2 responses to “Iron Gods (Lords of Rust) #9: Lords of Rust? More Like Lords of Scrub!

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