In a missing chapter of our tale, the party further explored the Great Cavern and raided a lair of tentacled trees, ropers, before heading deeper into the dungeon in a level swarming with maggot-infested undead. Kung Fury continues their tale. (-GM)
24th day of Calistril, 4721 AR
We continued to explore the foreboding fungus caverns. We had yet to find a single living creature here besides me. The others didn’t have maggots infesting them, as was the only common characteristic of the zombies on this level, but I was sure they were dead. How else could they smell so bad?
There was a cave filled with troll zombies, goblin zombies, bug zombies, and human zombies, all of which we dispatched immediately. In the cave we found an intricately carved golden crown, which Shia identified as a major crown of blasting. The crown could fire a beam of light that was particularly potent against undead. I took it because none of the others could wear it; the crown wouldn’t fit over their stupid masks.
We walked down a tunnel which ended in a cave-in. Madrik wasn’t here to turn all the rocks to mud, so we had to clear it out ourselves. While we were doing so, more zombies attacked us. Deckard Cain conjured a wall of fire, which burned much of their overripe flesh, but also blocked me from due processing them. Eventually he turned it off, and I was able to see the horrors on the other side. Not only was there a zombie purple worm heading toward us, but I spotted a zombie dragon as well. Some lawful stupid knight probably went through all the effort to slay this dragon, but then was like “we must giveth it a proper burial” and dumped it here for us to deal with. We dealt with it all right.
That cave was mostly rubble, so we moved on to another cave. So many caves. Where did these people find so much limestone? Valestar sensed a big evil ahead, so we all got ready for a fight. We needn’t have worried, because there was only this creepy stone. It glowed an alien color that doesn’t have a name in this language, but is the same color as a purple worm. Shia said it was the Stone of Karsh, used by the armies of Orcus in the battle for Tsar. It animates the dead (surprise) and is really evil. We took it to the Pope to see if we could destroy it.
As we were standing on a grassy hill waiting for the Pope, I noticed my blood pressure rise. Shia said “You know, I just realized something. No matter what we do in our brief lives, the universe will eventually collapse and destroy all of our accomplishments. What’s the point of pretending that we can make anything last in this cold, harsh world? In the end, it will all become dust. No, better to side with destruction. Better to show the masses how easily their fleeting existence can end. I must show them the truth. I must be an agent of entropy.”
With that, he attacked us, and we all beat him up. It would have been like the fifth time Shia was killed by his companions, but luckily the Pope arrived and sent him to some rehabilitation center. His clergy got to work on researching the artifact.
It would be nice to end on that note, but we decided to keep exploring. There was a river which we went down, and a folding boat which we probably broke. Best climax ever, amirite?
Kung Fury (Nate)
Death from Somewhere Irrelevantly Far Away, tiefling slayer 16
Deckard Cain, aasimar flame oracle 15
Kung Fury, sylph martial artist monk 16
Madrik the Spell Thief, sylph wizard 16
Shia Labeouf, merfolk bard 10 / pathfinder chronicler 5
Valestar Ekhart, aasimar paladin 17