Author Archives: ronaldsf

About ronaldsf

Grandmaster of the Pathfinders' Guild at Martin Luther King Middle School.

Rappan Athuk #79: Brain Dead

In a missing chapter of our tale, the party further explored the Great Cavern and raided a lair of tentacled trees, ropers, before heading deeper into the dungeon in a level swarming with maggot-infested undead. Kung Fury continues their tale. (-GM)

24th day of Calistril, 4721 AR

We continued to explore the foreboding fungus caverns. We had yet to find a single living creature here besides me. The others didn’t have maggots infesting them, as was the only common characteristic of the zombies on this level, but I was sure they were dead. How else could they smell so bad?

There was a cave filled with troll zombies, goblin zombies, bug zombies, and human zombies, all of which we dispatched immediately. In the cave we found an intricately carved golden crown, which Shia identified as a major crown of blasting. The crown could fire a beam of light that was particularly potent against undead. I took it because none of the others could wear it; the crown wouldn’t fit over their stupid masks.

We walked down a tunnel which ended in a cave-in. Madrik wasn’t here to turn all the rocks to mud, so we had to clear it out ourselves. While we were doing so, more zombies attacked us. Deckard Cain conjured a wall of fire, which burned much of their overripe flesh, but also blocked me from due processing them. Eventually he turned it off, and I was able to see the horrors on the other side. Not only was there a zombie purple worm heading toward us, but I spotted a zombie dragon as well. Some lawful stupid knight probably went through all the effort to slay this dragon, but then was like “we must giveth it a proper burial” and dumped it here for us to deal with. We dealt with it all right.

That cave was mostly rubble, so we moved on to another cave. So many caves. Where did these people find so much limestone? Valestar sensed a big evil ahead, so we all got ready for a fight. We needn’t have worried, because there was only this creepy stone. It glowed an alien color that doesn’t have a name in this language, but is the same color as a purple worm. Shia said it was the Stone of Karsh, used by the armies of Orcus in the battle for Tsar. It animates the dead (surprise) and is really evil. We took it to the Pope to see if we could destroy it.

As we were standing on a grassy hill waiting for the Pope, I noticed my blood pressure rise. Shia said “You know, I just realized something. No matter what we do in our brief lives, the universe will eventually collapse and destroy all of our accomplishments. What’s the point of pretending that we can make anything last in this cold, harsh world? In the end, it will all become dust. No, better to side with destruction. Better to show the masses how easily their fleeting existence can end. I must show them the truth. I must be an agent of entropy.”

With that, he attacked us, and we all beat him up. It would have been like the fifth time Shia was killed by his companions, but luckily the Pope arrived and sent him to some rehabilitation center. His clergy got to work on researching the artifact.

It would be nice to end on that note, but we decided to keep exploring. There was a river which we went down, and a folding boat which we probably broke. Best climax ever, amirite?

Signing off,
Kung Fury (Nate)


Death from Somewhere Irrelevantly Far Away, tiefling slayer 16
Deckard Cain, aasimar flame oracle 15
Kung Fury, sylph martial artist monk 16
Madrik the Spell Thief, sylph wizard 16
Shia Labeouf, merfolk bard 10 / pathfinder chronicler 5
Valestar Ekhart, aasimar paladin 17

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Rappan Athuk #78: Roast and Meteor Swarm My Ropers

After the redemption of Valestar Ekhart, the party returned to the Great Cavern, with the flame oracle Deckard Cain in tow. They stood before a yawning cave mouth. Cain tells their story. (-GM) Read the rest of this entry »


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Wrath of the Righteous #27: Those Damn Demons

We last left our heroes as they were fighting their way into the Midnight Fane, to close a gate to the Abyss. The brawler Beckles continues their tale. (-GM)

17th day of Sarenith, 4728 AR

Nunya wanted to figure out what the weird machines and beakers all did, so The Incredible Fella and I took a quick nap.

We were in some evil demon lab place, and I couldn’t care less about all the weird machines and bubbling beakers. Nunya wanted to figure out what they all did, so The Incredible Fella and I took a quick nap. Unfortunately, something loud awoke us, and I saw a group of burly looking monstrosities. They didn’t look particularly tough, so I ignored Nunya’s explanation of their native habitat and genus and decided to find out the easy way if they were a real threat.

One of them looked tougher than the rest, so I flew over to him and punched him a few times. I didn’t think I had hit him that hard, but he fell over and didn’t look like he was gonna get up. I threw him an ice pack and beat up the next one. They quickly proved to be about as combat-ready as a toddler, and The Incredible Fella’s good bow skills and me beating them senseless ended the fight quickly.

While we had been fighting however, Nunya had been working on figuring out what was in the lab. She pointed out a few bottles of alchemist’s fire and some liquid ice. I was a little confused. I have never had a formal education, but isn’t liquid ice just water? I asked Nunya about this, and she launched into a lengthy explanation of the alchemical process to make it, and how it is a remarkable substance that freezes quickly in contact with air. I grabbed a bottle just in case, and went to look for some real loot.

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Wrath of the Righteous #26: This Doesn’t Feel Like Home

Nearly a year has passed since the original heroes of the Fifth Crusade stopped the advance of the demon armies into Mendev and crusaders retook the strategic citadel of Drezen. As the war grinds on in a stalemate, our heroes embark on a secret mission that may unlock a means to close the Worldwound forever!

17th day of Sarenith, 4728 AR

These people, along with the “divine” pink furball, looked much better suited to fight alongside the demons, not against them.

A group of soldiers marched past, yet again disturbing my meditation. It would be easier if there was something to concentrate on, like a tree or a lake. But everything was infused with the Abyss. Even the stars seemed to burn with demonic intensity. I had to close my eyes and shut out the tainted world in order to regain calmness. Focus internally. Relax.

I heard the patter of footsteps, but this time they were not from the soldiers. A bug-eyed creature with tiny limbs and pink fur all over its body was walking toward me. Was one of the wizards playing some practical joke? I poked it in the head and confirmed that it was not an illusion. It got all offended and went on about being Sarenrae’s chosen warrior on a divine mission to fight demonkind. It then introduced itself as Jex, a “skittermander” from the future. I eventually decided to trust it, because someone with malicious intent wouldn’t make up a story that outlandish. Besides, it couldn’t exactly stab me in the back with those tiny arms.

Jex explained that Queen Galfrey had summoned me along with several other crusaders on an urgent mission. I was soon to learn that the term “crusader” had been applied very generously. Sitting before a teleportation circle were a strix with brass knuckles, a huge half-orc wielding a bloody axe, a ratfolk with skulls and vials of blood on her tattered robe, and an ordinary human with a bow, who looked extremely out of place next to his companions. These people, along with the “divine” pink furball, looked much better suited to fight alongside the demons, not against them.

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Rappan Athuk #77: The Final Test

Brooding amidst his muldane doldrums, the fallen paladin Valestar Ekhart continues to lead the party seeking redemption in the Great Cavern of Rappan Athuk.

18th day of Abadius, 4721 AR

Gugs are fugly.

After the party returned me to normal after being turned to stone, we kept wandering the dungeon. We found ourselves in a larger room with a bunch of gugs, large creatures with a gaping maw instead of a mouth. They roared, and we charged.

Despite being easily four times my size, they weren’t able to hit me, and their size made them clumsy. I was able to cut two down before any hit me, and DFSIFA finished off the others with a hail of arrows. The fight was over quickly, but we could hear more coming from the other opening of the room.

Madrik was almost out of spells, and we were all tired, so we decided to go home. Madrik quickly teleported us home and we all had a well-deserved rest.

Upon returning to the room, a couple of gugs that had been eating some rats roared in surprise and were hit with a few DFSIFA arrows. They went down, and we heard more coming. We ran down the tunnel and saw a group of them approaching. Madrik smiled and cast a spell and a wall of lava appeared right behind them. Jackie Chan ran forward and threw one into it, where it proceeded to shriek and melt from the intense heat. I ran forward and attacked them, and the combination of our two monks, DFSIFA, me, and them being pushed back towards the lava wall meant they didn’t last long.

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Rappan Athuk #76: I’m da boss, I’m da boss, I’m da boss, I’m da boss, I’m da boss… I’m da boss, I’m da boss, I’m da boss, I’m da boss, I’m da boss, I’m da boss.

We last left our heroes as they encountered powerful spellcasting mummies deep within Rappan Athuk. Stay awhile and listen as the flame oracle Deckard Cain tells us what happens next.

20th day of Kuthona, 4720 AR

Valestar had strode up to the mummy, but before he could get close enough to swing his sword the mummy pointed a withered finger at him and uttered a word in a guttural voice and in a flash our warrior was no longer there. DFSIFA was standing still, paralyzed by the mummies’ terrifying gaze.

Doomfist ran straight up to a mummy now, swinging his fist in a deadly uppercut, but as soon as he made eye contact with the creature he stopped, seemingly oblivious to the danger around him while he stared off into space.

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Rappan Athuk #75: The Great Cavern

The party keeps its promise to a floating eyeball and finds that the lead takes them to the most immense level yet. Valestar Ekhart narrates.

11th day of Neth, 4720 AR


After some brief argument, which mainly consisted of DFSIFA wanting to go down the tunnel to 3 levels down, and us saying no, we finally agreed to go deal with the other floating eyeball that the eye of the deep wanted us to deal with. This giant eyeball was trivial to fight, and our new friend Gundar was quite grateful. He gave us a magic sword, and despite its negligible value, I appreciated the gesture.

Madrik had us go to a huge cavern over a mile across, and we wandered for a while, only encountering a few gargoyles and some goblins hard at work mining. I yawned, as did everyone else, as it seemed that there was nothing to do besides skewer rats and walk.

Finally, we came upon a huge mushroom. It was actually one of many, as there appeared to me a fungus forest in front of us. We flew above it and it stretched as far as we could see. I saw a quick movement in the mushrooms and one of the smaller one walked out towards the party. We flew down and i donned my Helm of Comprehend Languages. We parlayed, and once it understood our intentions weren’t to harm them, many more mushroom people came out and oohed and aahed at us. One tugged on my leg and pointed. I followed it into the forest, and saw about 100 feet in front of me, a large troll tearing up their mushrooms. I shook my head, drew my sword, and charged it. I took it by surprise, and my flaming sword made it unable to regenerate. It was dead before it knew what had hit it, and all the mushrooms cheered.

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