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Rappan Athuk #79: Brain Dead

In a missing chapter of our tale, the party further explored the Great Cavern and raided a lair of tentacled trees, ropers, before heading deeper into the dungeon in a level swarming with maggot-infested undead. Kung Fury continues their tale. (-GM)

24th day of Calistril, 4721 AR

We continued to explore the foreboding fungus caverns. We had yet to find a single living creature here besides me. The others didn’t have maggots infesting them, as was the only common characteristic of the zombies on this level, but I was sure they were dead. How else could they smell so bad?

There was a cave filled with troll zombies, goblin zombies, bug zombies, and human zombies, all of which we dispatched immediately. In the cave we found an intricately carved golden crown, which Shia identified as a major crown of blasting. The crown could fire a beam of light that was particularly potent against undead. I took it because none of the others could wear it; the crown wouldn’t fit over their stupid masks.

We walked down a tunnel which ended in a cave-in. Madrik wasn’t here to turn all the rocks to mud, so we had to clear it out ourselves. While we were doing so, more zombies attacked us. Deckard Cain conjured a wall of fire, which burned much of their overripe flesh, but also blocked me from due processing them. Eventually he turned it off, and I was able to see the horrors on the other side. Not only was there a zombie purple worm heading toward us, but I spotted a zombie dragon as well. Some lawful stupid knight probably went through all the effort to slay this dragon, but then was like “we must giveth it a proper burial” and dumped it here for us to deal with. We dealt with it all right.

That cave was mostly rubble, so we moved on to another cave. So many caves. Where did these people find so much limestone? Valestar sensed a big evil ahead, so we all got ready for a fight. We needn’t have worried, because there was only this creepy stone. It glowed an alien color that doesn’t have a name in this language, but is the same color as a purple worm. Shia said it was the Stone of Karsh, used by the armies of Orcus in the battle for Tsar. It animates the dead (surprise) and is really evil. We took it to the Pope to see if we could destroy it.

As we were standing on a grassy hill waiting for the Pope, I noticed my blood pressure rise. Shia said “You know, I just realized something. No matter what we do in our brief lives, the universe will eventually collapse and destroy all of our accomplishments. What’s the point of pretending that we can make anything last in this cold, harsh world? In the end, it will all become dust. No, better to side with destruction. Better to show the masses how easily their fleeting existence can end. I must show them the truth. I must be an agent of entropy.”

With that, he attacked us, and we all beat him up. It would have been like the fifth time Shia was killed by his companions, but luckily the Pope arrived and sent him to some rehabilitation center. His clergy got to work on researching the artifact.

It would be nice to end on that note, but we decided to keep exploring. There was a river which we went down, and a folding boat which we probably broke. Best climax ever, amirite?

Signing off,
Kung Fury (Nate)


Death from Somewhere Irrelevantly Far Away, tiefling slayer 16
Deckard Cain, aasimar flame oracle 15
Kung Fury, sylph martial artist monk 16
Madrik the Spell Thief, sylph wizard 16
Shia Labeouf, merfolk bard 10 / pathfinder chronicler 5
Valestar Ekhart, aasimar paladin 17

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Rappan Athuk #78: Roast and Meteor Swarm My Ropers

After the redemption of Valestar Ekhart, the party returned to the Great Cavern, with the flame oracle Deckard Cain in tow. They stood before a yawning cave mouth. Cain tells their story. (-GM)

20th day of Abadius, 4721 AR

When I rejoined the party I had no idea what they would be up to, and knowing them it was probably something very dangerous. As it turned out they were actually in a cave complex trying to snuff out whatever evil they detected there. Shia identified the the substance on the ground as Roper feces and that we should watch out for them as they looked much like the stalactites around us. We walked into another cave and were greeted by two tentacles aimed at our frontliners. They latched onto party members and tried to sap their energy. The once-again paladin Valestar pulled out his sword and sliced the tentacles off of him and his mount. DFSIFA then promptly filled one of the ropers visible to us full of arrows. The other one was burnt to a crisp by my hand and then pounded into the ground by Kung Fury. Read the rest of this entry »


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Rappan Athuk #77: The Final Test

Brooding amidst his muldane doldrums, the fallen paladin Valestar Ekhart continues to lead the party seeking redemption in the Great Cavern of Rappan Athuk.

18th day of Abadius, 4721 AR

Gugs are fugly.

After the party returned me to normal after being turned to stone, we kept wandering the dungeon. We found ourselves in a larger room with a bunch of gugs, large creatures with a gaping maw instead of a mouth. They roared, and we charged.

Despite being easily four times my size, they weren’t able to hit me, and their size made them clumsy. I was able to cut two down before any hit me, and DFSIFA finished off the others with a hail of arrows. The fight was over quickly, but we could hear more coming from the other opening of the room.

Madrik was almost out of spells, and we were all tired, so we decided to go home. Madrik quickly teleported us home and we all had a well-deserved rest.

Upon returning to the room, a couple of gugs that had been eating some rats roared in surprise and were hit with a few DFSIFA arrows. They went down, and we heard more coming. We ran down the tunnel and saw a group of them approaching. Madrik smiled and cast a spell and a wall of lava appeared right behind them. Jackie Chan ran forward and threw one into it, where it proceeded to shriek and melt from the intense heat. I ran forward and attacked them, and the combination of our two monks, DFSIFA, me, and them being pushed back towards the lava wall meant they didn’t last long.

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Rappan Athuk #76: I’m da boss, I’m da boss, I’m da boss, I’m da boss, I’m da boss… I’m da boss, I’m da boss, I’m da boss, I’m da boss, I’m da boss, I’m da boss.

We last left our heroes as they encountered powerful spellcasting mummies deep within Rappan Athuk. Stay awhile and listen as the flame oracle Deckard Cain tells us what happens next.

20th day of Kuthona, 4720 AR

Valestar had strode up to the mummy, but before he could get close enough to swing his sword the mummy pointed a withered finger at him and uttered a word in a guttural voice and in a flash our warrior was no longer there. DFSIFA was standing still, paralyzed by the mummies’ terrifying gaze.

Doomfist ran straight up to a mummy now, swinging his fist in a deadly uppercut, but as soon as he made eye contact with the creature he stopped, seemingly oblivious to the danger around him while he stared off into space.

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Rappan Athuk #75: The Great Cavern

The party keeps its promise to a floating eyeball and finds that the lead takes them to the most immense level yet. Valestar Ekhart narrates.

11th day of Neth, 4720 AR


After some brief argument, which mainly consisted of DFSIFA wanting to go down the tunnel to 3 levels down, and us saying no, we finally agreed to go deal with the other floating eyeball that the eye of the deep wanted us to deal with. This giant eyeball was trivial to fight, and our new friend Gundar was quite grateful. He gave us a magic sword, and despite its negligible value, I appreciated the gesture.

Madrik had us go to a huge cavern over a mile across, and we wandered for a while, only encountering a few gargoyles and some goblins hard at work mining. I yawned, as did everyone else, as it seemed that there was nothing to do besides skewer rats and walk.

Finally, we came upon a huge mushroom. It was actually one of many, as there appeared to me a fungus forest in front of us. We flew above it and it stretched as far as we could see. I saw a quick movement in the mushrooms and one of the smaller one walked out towards the party. We flew down and i donned my Helm of Comprehend Languages. We parlayed, and once it understood our intentions weren’t to harm them, many more mushroom people came out and oohed and aahed at us. One tugged on my leg and pointed. I followed it into the forest, and saw about 100 feet in front of me, a large troll tearing up their mushrooms. I shook my head, drew my sword, and charged it. I took it by surprise, and my flaming sword made it unable to regenerate. It was dead before it knew what had hit it, and all the mushrooms cheered.

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Dead Suns #16: Beating a Dead Corpse

In a missing chapter of our tale, the party followed the Ministry of Eternal Vigilance’s leads on the Corpse Fleet. Their investigations brought them to a marrowblight outside the city. Their government vehicle became food for a gigantic irradiated ellicoth, which in turn became disemboweled by an over-eager android (a.k.a XI). The sniper continues the story. (-GM)

25th Day of Lamashan, 317 AG

The ellicoth

My heart had finally started calming down after the epic battle less than 24 hours earlier. XI added some new parts to his drone so that it could search the gargantuan leviathan thingy some more. He found some more weapons and items. He also found his fair share of dead animals and rocks and such. After about 2 hours, he returned to our makeshift camp and informed us that he got out all he could get. Since the party had no way of flying back to Orphys, we had to walk. As we walked we saw numerous piles of bones, some of them reaching 50 feet or higher into the black sky.

After 3 hours of trekking along in this arid landscape, my keen senses noticed something. There was a figure crouched behind a rock at the top of a 30 foot high pile of bones. Chee Kee also noticed the figure. We alerted the party that it was probable that we would be ambushed in the following seconds. As we suspected, the figure, Captain Zeera Vesh, stood up from its cover and began a speech about how its comrades had failed to kill us but it would and blah blah blah. I took out my ever-present bottle of Tequila and took a swig. I was thinking something along the lines of “Here goes nothing.”

During this long and drawn out proclamation of our deaths, Chee Kee was able to sneak up undetected toward her perch on the top of the bone pile. And, as always, jeopardizing the integrity of our mission, Nikolai yelled attack. At this point, we assumed that he would charge up the mound of bones, sword drawn, yelling some war cry. But instead he moved a single inch forward.

I realized that I would be as dead as **** if I waiting for him to get into range. I pulled out my rifle and activated the haste upgrade on my armor. I move forward and shot twice. Unfortunately this creature’s tough hide blocked most of the damage I dealt. By now, Chee Kee had flanked all the way around this now obvious sniper. He lined up his pistol just right and pulled the trigger.

A loud bang echoed and the sniper visibly jerked, the bullet dealing a great quantity of damage. During this, a group of 6 skeletons jumped out from hiding behind us and fired magical missiles at the party. Now the party was split because half of us were attacking the skeletons and the other half were attacking the sniper. Chee Kee kept pounding shot after shot into it. Meanwhile it was “cleanup on aisle skeletons” as XI and his drone mowed them down.

Chee Kee put the last shot home and the sniper fell to the ground, dead. As we suspected, she was part of the Corpse Fleet and was sent to ambush us and kill us. We looted everybody and found a decent treasure horde. Among these riches we found a datapad. XI hacked it and among other things, we found an un-edited version of the message telling the Cult of the Devourer where to go (which the Corpse Fleet had intercepted). They were to go to the Nejeor system to get the “key” to the “Gate of Twelve Suns.” We returned to the Ministry of Eternal Vigilance and told them what had happened and showed them all the information we had found. Ambassador Nor sent us each a substantial amount of credits for the work we had done. We said that we planned to go to Nejeor.

Now excuse me, I must rest up before our journey.

Signing off,
Your favorite drink,
Tequila (Paul)


XI, android mechanic 7
Chappie, android technomancer 6
Chee Kee, ysoki operative 6
Hector Hottie, halfling envoy 6
Tequila, android soldier 7
Nikolai, vesk soldier 7

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Posted by on May 25, 2018 in Campaign, dead suns, Pathfinder Chronicles


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Rappan Athuk #74: Be Careful What You Wish For

This is a stirring tale that spans space, time… and dimensions. Kung Fury gathers himself after returning from his harrowing journey and tells the party’s story.

12th day of Lamashan, 4720 AR

Me, Madrik the Spell Thief and Deckard Cain were waiting at the house while the others were still trapped in the maze. They were in a room with black and white tiles, and like all rooms with clearly visible tiles, this one sprung a trap if you stepped on one. On the floor lay a mostly erased message that was written in chalk so it could be easily erased.

“__________________ entirely false.
Walk __________ true line ________;
follow _____ not step ____________.”

There was also a poem on the far wall which no one bothered to write down.

After a few hours of getting burned, sickened, slowed, teleported back to where they started, and, in Jackie Chan’s case, killed, they finally figured out that they needed to walk in a straight line through the middle. (Oh, and Valestar got chants of Orcus following him around, and became a strobe light. -GM) Most of them were cursed with something, and Valestar was recovering from a near-death experience, though otherwise he looked more able than usual. They entered the next room, which had a throne in it but nothing was magical.

At this point those of us back home got bored and decided to find where the others went. Madrik wrote and prepared a spell that would let us communicate via short telepathic messages. We told them to stay where they were so we could find them, and they described the room they were in. We tried to teleport to it, but because of the fascist entity inhabiting that level we ended up in a different room with four doors. After entering some more rooms, we found a room that looked exactly like the one they described to us, except they weren’t there and we sensed magic. After taking the coins that were lying around, I bravely decided to sit on this magical throne.

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