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Slumbering Tsar #9: Drain the Swamp!

In a missing chapter of our tale, the party entered the tower on top of the central fortress and fought an iron devil and a mechanical construct wearing a human’s skin but with an array of flensing blades in its chest. They also found a statue with an overwhelming magical aura… an artifact? (More on that later.) -GM

6th day of Sarenith, 4717 AR

There was another hideous mummy standing unnervingly still next to the entrance…

Destroying the iron devil and machine had taken a considerable amount of our strength. We were too tired to charge the central guard tower and vanquish the sinister creator of all these nonliving guards, but we weren’t tired enough to go back to the camp and rest. After some thought, we decided to explore a presumably less dangerous entrance to the city: the sunken, swampy northeast gate.

There were two immense towers guarding the oxidized gate. One seemed to be mostly intact, but the other had fallen halfway into the bog. It looked as if whatever made the area sink didn’t happen until after Tsar’s citizens made the place perfectly suited to a flat, dry climate. A pool of swampy water separated us from the northern tower, but luckily there was a functioning boat on the shore. It looked more like a weird triangle than a boat, but we knew it was a boat because it was labeled as such, in large capital letters.

As we boarded the small vessel, we noticed several lights hovering above the pool. I threw a rock at one of them to show the insignificant photons that they were no match for us. The light flew toward me and exploded. How rude. I would have given the remaining lights a lesson on etiquette if a bunch of hideous mud mummies hadn’t ambushed us.

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Rappan Athuk #48: Boxed In!

The party, undeterred, returns to confront The Master and his court. (-GM)

8th day of Lamashan, 4718 AR

Greetings, Travelers! You will find these lost documents if you continue on the way our party has walked before you. They will tell you about what are adventures were like and give a summary of the creatures we fought.

So now that I seem to be stuck in this box of force above the party, I may as well record with magic writing (to write very fast) about what has happened so far this second run in the Cavern of Lava. I am Deckard Cain, new to this party as of a month ago. I came in search of new revelations about my mystery type, fire. And when that Paladin Valestar (Who is sitting on his golden toilet right now) told me that the party was currently in a cavern filled with fire and lava, I had to agree to join them.

Anyway, after our first run with 2 deaths (Arthritic Slaver and Shia) and a dead companion (Arvnevurr), we teleported back to the house and resurrected Shia and Arthritic and waited for a new companion a month later. Shia crafted a Banner of Ancient Kings, which gives us morale boosts on our actions.

Everyone but Valestar teleported back in ready for a fight, facing the room of the last battle when I saw 10 or so regular salamanders behind us back in the cavern slithering around who had not yet noticed us somehow.

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Stoneheart Dungeon #5: It’s All About Meme

(Meme is pronounced “me me”)

In an unwritten chapter, the party was almost slain by followers of Orcus who “cleansed” the temple of trespassers (i.e., the party). The party survived only due to the loyalty and hooves of their steeds. The next chapter was boring as they fought some spiders while camping and then decided to play a board game. Hannibal left the party and a new necromancer joins the adventure. She continues the story…(-GM)

24th day of Sarenith, 4717 AR

As the party returned to the town of Taverland, they met the Mighty Meme. When they decided to go in the wilderness together, we found a few Orcus cultists and skeletons. While the party ran away and hid, the Mighty Meme came charging into battle against the two cultists with a terrifying grin on her face. The Mighty Meme pulled out her holy symbol and possessed one of the undead minions, then ran away with pride and almost died.

When the party left town, we met a guard named Imril. Then Meme decided to get busy with Imril because he had 2 attacks per round. Later that day the party decided to go hunting for corpses (or make them –GM).

We decided to go up to the foothills and sleep for the night, but we ended up being attacked by 2 wyverns who attacked Meme’s horse, and I admit they had a lot of balls to do some crap like that and one wyvern was struck down by Meme’s horse. At the end of the fight, the party had won the ball-busting battle against the wyverns and Meme courageously scraped of the flesh and scales off of the wyverns and put the skeletons in her brand new cart along with her two body guards Super Skelly and To Be Determined.

-Meme (Zach)

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Eagle One, vanaran zen-archer monk 4
Fabrizio Moretti, tiefling alchemist 4
Groominator the Great, goblin rogue 4
Isaax, catfolk arcanist 4
Meme, aasimar cleric of Urgathoa 3
The WANDerer, half-elven summoner 4

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Rappan Athuk #47: Hot Damn!

The party faces its greatest challenge yet. (-GM)

9th day of Rova, 4718 AR

Here is a five-word summary of what was going on: Cavern. Lava. Hot. Hot. Hot. So hot that even Valestar declared that it was too hot for his holy bottom and went to sit on his golden toilet. He teleported back a few minutes later with an old man by his side. The old man introduced himself as Deckard Cain. We brought him up to date with everything that had been going on. It was so hot down there that even The Hero of No Name looked hot and that’s saying something cause that old guy never looks hot or cold or anything for that matter.

The party was kinda awkwardly sitting around on a bridge of gold when suddenly a SALAMANDER SLITHERED OUT!! Ok, so I know that does not sound very intimidating but these were pretty big salamanders and there were four of them. Two of them were larger and stronger, and two looked about what an average huge fiery salamander would look like. The more powerful salamanders of the group held themselves with an air of confidence like they were some kind of noble.

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Rappan Athuk #46: A Long Day of Maps

Our intrepid heroes, victorious from the Great Battle of the Phase Minotaurs, continues exploring their maze, now minotaur-free. (-GM)

9th day of Rova, 4718 AR

We immediately looked for a way to get Nioveskirian out of the floor, but sit would not budge, even when Perseus sat down on it.

After defeating the minotaurs, we wanted more action, and so we went down one of the passages leading out of the cavern. The tunnel eventually became rough masonry, and suddenly the floor underneath Nioveskirian disappeared. He fell into the ensuing pit, and the floor blinked back into existence.

We immediately looked for a way to get him out, but the floor would not budge, even when Perseus sat down on it. Eventually we decided to break out our trusty adamantine pick, and a few hours of Arthritic Slaver and me hacking away at the stone created a hole big enough for us to pull him out. The hardy dwarf looked fine, although he was a bit mad. I noticed movement out of the corner of my eye, and I turned to see a big ooze about to engulf Perseus, with me riding him. Perseus had noticed as well, and with a quick flap of his great wings, we were far from the smelly mass of goo. DFSIFA laughed, shut his eyes, and killed it with two quick arrows. He found it more akin to playing a children’s game than actual combat.

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Stoneheart Dungeon #2: The Visitors

More people join our heroes as they try to reclaim shrines from evil worshipers of the demon lord Orcus, Prince of the Undead. The party’s monk, Eagle One, continues their tale. (-GM)

23rd day of Sarenith, 4717 AR

A priest of Orcus

It is me, Eagle One again. Today, while we are cleaning the temple, two new people show up: Isaax, an arcanist, and Fabrizio Moretti, an alchemist. They are helping us clean the temple, when we heard some magic being cast.

Groominator and I go out to investigate it, and we stealth in some bushes. Turns out, they cast darkness, so we can’t see anything. We have to wait for Hannibal to get there so he can cast daylight. Then, we realize that he has to cast daylight on an object he touches.

I come up with the brilliant idea of him touching my arrow. I shoot the arrow, and we can finally see them. They are three humanoids, wearing a lot of black clothes, chain mail armor, and they have steel shields. They will be tough to fight.

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Slumbering Tsar #7: I Don’t Say Much, and Let My Gun Do My Talking for Me

Choosing the method of frontal assault, the party enters the bailey of the fortress at the center of the city’s walls. (-GM)

4th day of Sarenith, 4717 AR

They call me Neptune. And they also told me to chronicle our little expedition into Tsar. So I will.

After dealing with the mob of skeletons, leaving them dead (again), we realized that we were still in danger. In the middle of the large courtyard was a tower, and from the arrow slits came a continuous stream of arrows. Not many hit their targets (us), but it got annoying, and so I took a few shots at one. It stopped firing for about 30 seconds, then kept shooting. We quickly had Alucard’s roc fly us back up to the ramparts, saw a door to our left, and went inside.

We found ourselves in a barracks, with beds, an armory, and a kitchen. A careful search revealed some dust, and a few cobwebs. We took the time to heal, and discussed our plan of action. I remembered seeing a door above the side of the entrance gate leading into the central fortress, and we decided to go into that. I knew my lock-picking prowess could get us in, and Dio could get us out.

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