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Stoneheart Dungeon #7: Kingmaker!

The party took a reprieve from their mission and the Orcus cultists and decided to open a casino in Taverlan. But as the saying goes: you can take the party out of the dungeon, but you can’t take the dungeon out of the party… (-GM)

14th day of Arodus, 4717 AR

One of Meme’s minions

Hello, I am Isaac, a ratfolk. I’m Isaax’s distant cousin. I have been recently traveling around when I spotted a town called Taverlan. As I entered town, I saw a fire and dead bodies. I realized that Isaax was one of them. I also smelled the distinct smell that I hadn’t smelled for 2 years. It was the smell of a sauna! Additionally, I only saw 2 people, a priest of good, and a priest of bad, I later learned was named Meme. Then I asked how this all happened. Meme handed me a piece of paper from Isaax’s bag and said she will fill in the missing parts.

It went like this;

Entry 333: Wow, what a day after traveling back to town and meeting Boominator the Beautiful (a goblin and sister of the late Groominator the Great -GM), we decided to creating a casino. Wow, that’s an unlikely turn of events. At least, after a year, we might have enough to buy a magic item. In the process, we had to get a loan. Meme tried hitting on the bank person, but we got a loan anyway.

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Stoneheart Dungeon #6: Packed Away

Groominator the Great was a talented goblin who danced circles around foes to protect his friends. He unfortunately says his last words in today’s writeup. *sniff* (-GM)

26th day of Sarenith, 4717 AR

Groominator the Great

We were about 24 miles out from town and we were going towards the place where we think the Stoneheart Dungeon was. But as soon as we had moved about a mile to the northwest, we found a camp of orcs. There were a few tents with about 12 orcs in the tents. I, Groominator, went over and stealthed alongside the zen archer Eagle One. We hid behind a rock, and I jumped out to hit the orcs. I hit one right in the face and almost knocked him out, then again, and he was dead. Then, Eagle One shot at the next one, and hit it almost out.

But now it was their turn to act. The ones around me surrounded me and hit me for only 6 damage. Then the other 9 orcs rushed out of their tents at the other party members. Our undead lord, Meme, roused all of her army and attacked. Two of them were gone in a flash as a skirmishing of blows led to an all-out battle. The WANDerer cast enlarge person on the eidolon, all of the horses attacked two of them knocking them out, and the horde of skeletons hit a bunch down.

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Stoneheart Dungeon #5: It’s All About Meme

(Meme is pronounced “me me”)

In an unwritten chapter, the party was almost slain by followers of Orcus who “cleansed” the temple of trespassers (i.e., the party). The party survived only due to the loyalty and hooves of their steeds. The next chapter was boring as they fought some spiders while camping and then decided to play a board game. Hannibal left the party and a new necromancer joins the adventure. She continues the story…(-GM)

24th day of Sarenith, 4717 AR

As the party returned to the town of Taverland, they met the Mighty Meme. When they decided to go in the wilderness together, we found a few Orcus cultists and skeletons. While the party ran away and hid, the Mighty Meme came charging into battle against the two cultists with a terrifying grin on her face. The Mighty Meme pulled out her holy symbol and possessed one of the undead minions, then ran away with pride and almost died.

When the party left town, we met a guard named Imril. Then Meme decided to get busy with Imril because he had 2 attacks per round. Later that day the party decided to go hunting for corpses (or make them –GM).

We decided to go up to the foothills and sleep for the night, but we ended up being attacked by 2 wyverns who attacked Meme’s horse, and I admit they had a lot of balls to do some crap like that and one wyvern was struck down by Meme’s horse. At the end of the fight, the party had won the ball-busting battle against the wyverns and Meme courageously scraped of the flesh and scales off of the wyverns and put the skeletons in her brand new cart along with her two body guards Super Skelly and To Be Determined.

-Meme (Zach)

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Eagle One, vanaran zen-archer monk 4
Fabrizio Moretti, tiefling alchemist 4
Groominator the Great, goblin rogue 4
Isaax, catfolk arcanist 4
Meme, aasimar cleric of Urgathoa 3
The WANDerer, half-elven summoner 4

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Stoneheart Dungeon #2: The Visitors

More people join our heroes as they try to reclaim shrines from evil worshipers of the demon lord Orcus, Prince of the Undead. The party’s monk, Eagle One, continues their tale. (-GM)

23rd day of Sarenith, 4717 AR

A priest of Orcus

It is me, Eagle One again. Today, while we are cleaning the temple, two new people show up: Isaax, an arcanist, and Fabrizio Moretti, an alchemist. They are helping us clean the temple, when we heard some magic being cast.

Groominator and I go out to investigate it, and we stealth in some bushes. Turns out, they cast darkness, so we can’t see anything. We have to wait for Hannibal to get there so he can cast daylight. Then, we realize that he has to cast daylight on an object he touches.

I come up with the brilliant idea of him touching my arrow. I shoot the arrow, and we can finally see them. They are three humanoids, wearing a lot of black clothes, chain mail armor, and they have steel shields. They will be tough to fight.

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Stoneheart Dungeon #1: Blood and Bones

The Church of Iomedae is primarily concerned with the threat of demons from the Worldwound to the west. For less pressing tasks, it employs eager adventurers who migrate to Mendev but who are… less than fitting for service in the paladin armies. The new party is tasked with reclaiming two shrines to Iomedae and Abadar that were lost to cultists of Orcus ten years ago. The party’s zen archer monk, Eagle One, begins our tale. (-GM)

20th day of Sarenith, 4717 AR

It is me, Eagle One (a honorably zen archer), with The WANDerer (a summoner), and some other people whose names I can’t remember. A rogue and a paladin. We are now riding our horses to investigate and reclaim two shrines, one to Iomedae and one to Abadar.

Finally, we arrive. We walk into the first shrine and find that it is covered with blood and s***. The statue of Abadar has gotten its head blown off, and someone apparently took a s*** in its neck. Our paladin (Hannibal his name is) starts yelling obscenities at the statue and suddenly he is turned into a warpriest. Must have lost his paladinhood.

Well, while The WANDerer (let’s call him W for short) tries to decipher things written in blood on the ground, I walk over to the statue. I try to find its missing head, but all I find is rubble that seems impossible to put together. Then, while our rogue tries to find traps and secret passages along the wall, I hear a noise of a sword coming out of its scabbard. We’ll have to try to find that. Then, I notice some words at the foot of the statue:

“As you obey the commands of Abadar so does this figure obey your COMMAND.”

Just then, before I get a chance to do anything, we notice two skeletons covered in blood coming our way. I go out and try to shoot one. My arrow goes through its ribs, barely seeming to do anything. W’s eidolon seems to be doing a lot. Quickly, Hannibal and our rogue rushes out to help us. The skeletons are tough, but we end up beating them. It takes time, and we are exhausted.

We decide to go back and clean up the shrine before exploring the other one. After a bit, we decide to camp the night here. During Hannibal’s watch, I am awoken by a scream. Oh s***! A bunch of giant spiders have invaded the shrine. I shoot one after another, but they have bound our rogue, Groominator the Great (I finally learn his name) and Hannibal. W keeps on summoning giant spiders, but thankfully these are on our side.

We manage to defeat the last of them. I look up to the sky, and wonder what more will await us. Then, I go back to help clean the shrine.

-Eagle One (Bruno)

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Eagle One, vanaran zen-archer monk 4
Groominator the Great, goblin rogue 3
Hannibal the Cannibal, aasimar warpriest of Sarenrae 3
The WANDerer, half-elven summoner 3

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