Princes of the Apocalypse #17: Into the Deep

16 Jun

First, let us celebrate THE 666TH POST OF THE WEBSITE!

The party, with mercenaries who were promised 27% of the loot under their command, delves deep below the Sacred Stone Monastery in this installment. (-GM)

16th of Kythorn, 1491 Dale Reckoning

Lalia begins to attack, sliding through a duergar’s legs and stabs his rapiers into the spinal cord base of a duergar, granting scoliosis.

I step from the corpse of Hypernova, pistol in hand. An assortment of heavily armed warriors stand before me.

“Well hello there,” I say, cocking my pistol. “Let’s f***ing do this.”

We spend a few minutes bickering over where to go next. Finally, we come to a decision.

3 minutes later:

We find an iron door which Lalia immediately begins to open. We head down a hall, which splits into a second hall, and spiraling steps going far down. Lalia points her ear toward the wall for five minutes.

We begin to head down the hall, Ander, our buffed paladin, valiantly charging forward. My gun trained forward, we hear a loud noise coming from down the hall. What we find is unexpected. We find lots of stone corridors. Lalia drops a piton onto the ground up ahead.

Duergar, Lalia tells me. She briefs her troops on the wondrous sword effect:

  1. Apply a large dose of sword.
  2. If target rises again, repeat #1
  3. Repeat as necessary.

We’re definitely hearing footsteps now.

“27, save us…” Tsunami (a badass) (one of Hypernova’s minions –GM) says as a duergar materializes. I give a speech and fire into his eye, blood streaming down his face.

At the same time, the gray dwarf swings at Ander, and hits. Tsunami and Reef all attack and miss. Another duergar swings his warpick and hits. Lalia begins to attack, sliding through a duergar’s legs and stabs his rapiers into the spinal cord base of a duergar, granting scoliosis. The duergar howls in agony, blood spraying from his back.

Lalia’s troops attack immediately, 2 of them missing. One accidentally shoots himself. Ander attacks and cuts a little of the enemy’s ear off.

“What the f***,” the gray dwarf grumbles. I send a thorn whip into his ear, hopin to cause an aneurysm.

And I miss, dammit.

The duergar seem triggered and assault Ander Wiggins‘ armored form. Lalia’s troops half attack, half disengage. Ander and his troops charge, and at last the obese duergar dies. I fire a pistol into a duergar, blood spraying. My troops attack and I insult a duergar.

Warpicks are swung toward Lalia, one striking and clashing. Another bull rushes Reef, who attacks him back as well as Tsunami.

Two more fall, our troops yelling, “TWENTY SEVEN!”

A third duergar shrieks in agony. Ander rapiers the running duergar, killing it. Finally, Tsunami strikes the last duergar, killing it instantly.

This causes an uproarious noise.

We search the corpses. I do a transfusion on one to wake him up by injecting blood from a syringe into him. We interrogate him, and he agrees to help us. We party for approximately 2 minutes.

Then we head forward, toward our fate.


Ronald attacks us. Goddammit.

We hear voices — me and Lalia go to investigate. It’s a group of slaves.

“Where are the rest of you?” Lalia asks them.

“We were on a diplomatic mission…” one says.

“Will you help us?” Lalia asks.

“No, we want to go home!” Their leader says, shaking his head.

We talk and s***.


We’ve taken a long rest and now we are finally awakening. Days later, the troops are scared — but Ander and I comfort them as we head down the spiral steps.

The staircase is long, and irritating. We trek for 5 minutes. We enter into a huge cavern with a zigzagging bridge, and 50 feet below us are boulders. The cavern narrows to the west. We see skeletons below in rusted, shattered armor.

We enter into a huge cavern with a zigzagging bridge, and 50 feet below us are boulders…

A gargoyle suddenly lunges out of the pit, roaring in fury. Lalia leaps out of the way, and then a second flies up to attack Ander.

“Dammit!” I roar, and then a third attacks ME! I hellish rebuke it, turning some stony flesh away. Then an arrow fires up from Ander (who was on the ground) and misses. TYPICAL. GRRR.

Ander’s troops fire at the stone monstrosities — only one hits. The gargoyle cries out and shoots a look of hatred at the ex-pirate. Lalia punctures a lung with a dagger, causing a cry of pain. The newly pulmonary fibrositized gargoyle begins to drown, coughing and hacking. The gargoyle knocks me off the bridge, but I hellish rebuke from my mouth at it.


I drink some blood, while my troops fire on the gargoyle who knocked me off. Meanwhile, Ander lay on hands Reef, who fell. Then he tries to inspire his troops. Lalia stabs another gargoyle in the ear, who is now nearly dead. His second attack misses.

Lalia’s minions assault the gargoyles, and one falls. The others move around and fire on the second gargoyle. Both remaining gargoyles attempt to shove Lalia off, and she falls!

Dammit, Ronald! I roar.

Tsunami resists twice, grinning. Now, I unleash magic missile while Reef fires, hitting. My other two guards attack, and Tsunami daggers. Ander and his buddies assault the stone demons as well. Lalia begins to climb up, weapons ready, and she fails. She attempts to climb again. Again, she falls.

“Dammit!” she yells, trying once more. She climbs 30 feet this time. A grin spreads across her face.

Tsunami resists, but then finally falls. My other soldier resists.

I, however, shoot another stone demon, Reef following my lead. My other two valiant ex-pirates attack the second gargoyle, and it falls! Ander stumbles forward, and his troops fire. Three miss, one hits. The gargoyle screeches in pain. Lalia climbs up higher, then jumps toward the bridge — but grabs for the edge, hanging just barely.

“YES!” she yells, then climbs up and stabs viciously at the last gargoyle.


Her troops begin to attack, and 3 miss. One hits though, so… progress?

A blade crashes into it, and I blast with my gun. Three of my troops fire crossbows. Two hit.

It WILL NOT escape. I WON’T. LET. IT!!!

Three shots from Ander’s troops hit. Lalia fires upon the stone hell creature. Her troops fire, and 2 hit. It is escaping…

And it’s gone.

I sigh.

Now we’re stuck here.


-Eldernova Starfall, 7th incursion into the Sacred Stone Monastery


Ander Wiggins, halfling paladin 5
Isaac, gnome druid 5

Lalia, lightfoot halfling rogue 5
Eldernova, human druid 1/warlock 2/ranger 2

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