Death from Furthest Away (Bruno) tells the party’s tale from a level of Jacob’s Tower.
If you are in the weekend Jacob’s Tower campaign, DO NOT READ, for there be Spoilers! (-Grandmaster)
When I wake up, I am lying in what appears to be some rotten foul-smelling place. The walls are pink and shiny, not unlike flesh. The ground is soft and squishy, and some putrid, slimy oozes slowly leak out of the roof.
Alongside me are three other people. I know them fairly well and trust them enough to be here with them. There is Zarya (Paul), a vanara techslinger who is very powerful. There is also Zeny (Aidan), a strix monk who will be very useful because of his ability to fly. And last but not least, there is Arthritic Slaver (Cayden), but is very big, like if he had a permanent enlarge person spell on him. Zarya wields a Masterwork arc rifle, Zeny wields a +2 composite longbow, and Arthritic Slaver wields a large whip. I, Death From Furthest Away, wield a +1 shock composite longbow.
Suddenly, a small spirit manifests in front of us. He is about the size of a fist and is shaped like an upside-down raindrop. A few inches from his shimmering body is an expressive pair of eyes and a mouth, hovering in mid-air. He starts talking.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you heroes for answering my summons. I am Tik, obedient and willing servant to the titan Haradim. My master, one of the old gods, far before your time, was maliciously set upon by his enemies in the Eternal Fields of Battle. Due to their treachery he was grievously wounded, and I transported him here to the Everlasting Void to heal.”
We all have no idea who this is. He continues talking.
“Time passed in the Void, and much was my surprise when my master’s wounds refused to close. The injuries were simply too great. We have floated here for time beyond time, waiting for heroes such as you to help. Haradim’s wounds are numerous and deadly, and they must be healed for my master to return to his full vigor.”
We all know what he’s saying now. Much to our disgust. We’ll have to go through his body, and heal every part of him that’s injured in any way. There better be some pretty coin at the end of this. I need some boots of speed.
Tik still continues, telling us how each and every part of Haradim’s body is injured.
“Due to the immense strain of his irrepressible conquest, Haradim’s mighty heart has stopped beating. When fleeing his enemies, Haradim fell into the great river. He swallowed a serpent egg and his lungs filled with water. Left without sustenance for ages, Haradim’s stomach has fallen prey to starvation. Haradim’s shield hand was punctured with foul and unnatural devices meant to kill and maim. Haradim’s sword hand crushed his enemies, but the victim’s spirits never left. Haradim was stabbed through the foot with a cursed spear, and the heel is now riddled with disease. When retreating through tall grass, ticks crawled within the pores of Haradim’s leg. Thum, the magical lion who lends my master his roar, has gone mad with grief and must be calmed. Last, a massive beast from the Broken Lands has been feeding on my master’s mind. I will guide you through my Master’s body. Please help him! Where shall we go first?”
Jesus this sounds hard. I’m only level seven. This sounds more like a level 10-11 adventure. (It is! -GM) We decide it’s best to go to the nearest place where we can start freeing Haradim of his pains and infections. Everything from there is a blur. We fought a Bodak, an undead, four ghosts, and so many things I can’t recall. We fought, we fought and we fought. We fought enough horrible things to fill a whole bestiary.
Finally, we arrived at the brain after many days of fighting. Zeny is gone. There, we find a blob that looks threatening. Next to it are two smaller brain oozes. I start of by firing all the arrows I can into the big guy. One of them appears to hurt a lot. Then Zarya shoots the blob again, and it dies. Oh well, maybe it wasn’t that tough. Then, Stonehenge, a Monk who joined us (I can’t remember his name) hits the blob again. Turns out it wasn’t dead.
What happened after was horrible. The brain ooze, which looked far from threatening, takes control of Zarya. She shoots me, and I feel horrible pain. I know I’m at my last few hit points. Stonehenge hits the ooze but it doesn’t die. After that it was Zarya pointing her gun at me, and then I passed out.
Later, I was told the story. Stonehenge killed the brain ooze, but the other brain ooze took control of Zarya, and she shot the monk. He was put down to 2 hit points, and he knew if he didn’t kill the brain ooze that turn, he would die. He leapt in the air, for the brain ooze was hovering above him, and struck it with his mighty fists. The brain ooze withered and died.
When I woke up, I had about 20,000gp more. It was definitely worth it. That is my tale of Resurrection.
-Death from Furthest Away (Bruno)