Our resident opinionated dwarf, Nioveskirian, continues describing the party’s adventures in a deep cavern of Rappan Athuk. (-GM)
10th day of Gozran, 4718 AR
After some tedious shopping and hasty introductions (including Valestar teleporting to Nerosyan to be replaced by Blungybooce –GM), we reemerged into the deep chambers we discovered yesterday. This latest cavern was so large it almost felt like we were outside. There were some goblins at the entrance, which we quickly dispatched, but other than that it was mostly just uneventful space.
Most of the tunnels branching out from the cavern led to dead ends, but there was one that led to a relatively small room with a sarcophagus inside. This spectre-wizard came out and fought us, which was really annoying because it was incorporeal. The Hero of No Name summoned some earth elementals to help Arvnevurr push the ghost out of the wall it was hiding in. I smited it with some of my righteous powers, and BlungyBooce finished it off with a rain of holy bullets. Most of the stuff that was in the sarcophagus was mediocre junk.
We ran into some more dead ends and then followed the cavern until it narrowed into a small passageway which then opened into yet another enormous cave. At the far end a river flowed through these two stone pillars reaching up to the ceiling. Arvnevurr burrowed ahead and said that a bunch of large humanoids was stomping around the other side.
“Hey Nioveskirian,” said the hyperactive member of our party Death from Somewhere Really Far Away, “I’m more defensive than you.”
I didn’t so much as glance in his direction. Pointing out the truth would just fuel him.
“I can dodge so much better than you can. If you had to roll dice when you attacked something, you’d need to roll twice and take the worst result to hit me. That’s how special I am.”
Ignoring him wasn’t working either. “Listen, kid. I’m twice as tough as you. My equipment and skills can deflect blows far better than your dice metaphor. Now please, silence yourself.”
But he didn’t take the hint. “Eh. I don’t really care.”
“You don’t care. Even though it was you who brought it up.”
A roar in the distance, and someone shouting in what sounded like Giant. We walked closer, and identified the creatures as trolls.
“Okay,” said Whining Noise from Too Close to My Face DSRFA, “Let’s kill some of them but let one run away and spread the tale so monsters will know not to cross us.”
It seemed that this guy didn’t just talk purple flowers. He was made of purple flowers. “Your plan is ridiculous on four levels. First, trolls usually fight to the death. Second, trolls don’t care about their kin and wouldn’t feel the need to warn them. Third, even if he did warn other trolls, they would just think he was a coward and not listen. Fourth, it’s not worth letting even one of these monsters continue to spread evil. We vanquish all of them.”
It didn’t convince DSRFA’s flowery mind, but the others had some sense in them so they agreed.
It was a good fight. Shia LeBeouf enhanced us with powerful dances. Me, Arvnevurr, and Arthritic Slaver upended quite a few trolls before dispatching them, while DSRFA spent all his time shooting one of them and then said “Hey, look how much damage I did! I’m so overpowered!”
By the time Arthritic Slaver finished mutilating one of the troll corpses and DSRFA finished calling us idiots, I felt that it was past time to explore other parts of this place. Somewhere less spacious and more rewarding.
Arthritic Slaver, half-orc fighter 8
BlungyBooce, vanaran pistolero gunslinger 9
Death from Somewhere Really Far Away, tiefling stalker 9
The Hero of No Name, aasimar summoner 10
Nioveskirian, dwarven stonelord paladin 9
Shia Labeouf, merfolk bard 9
Valestar Ekhart, aasimar paladin 11