18th of Desnus, 4682 AR
Trolls, trolls, trolls. Who doesn’t love these cute lil’ fellas. However, after they butchered the local population over the course of a few months, one begins to get sick of even these lovable creatures.
We set out early in the day in order to explore a claimed hex and prepare it for future buildings. After trekking to the zone, we set up camp and began exploring. Soon though, we found some of our favorite friends. Quite a lot of them, to be exact. I immediately commanded vines to surge from the ground and wrap around our friends, in order for them to be able to sit comfortably while we had a little chat. They weren’t bothered too badly by the thorns on said vines. The rest of the group also tried to make them feel more at home, casting some fireballs for lighting and ramming some swords through their chests, all in good fun of course. We all had a really good time, as each time the trolls tried to run or move away they were impaled from all sides and roped to the ground; in my personal opinion it was just simply marvelous. However we all know that nothing good ever lasts, and these trolls proved to be no exception. They tried to ask for mercy! From Us! I laughed politely at their truly clever joke before telling them that they would get their mercy soon enough. We lit most of them aflame and I made puppets out of their corpses, although to tell you the truth they were a real bore once they died. I brought one live one home to put to future use; you never know when you’re gonna need a good ol’ troll!
We got back to our capital and decided to commemorate the the event with some new holidays, and we set about choosing our favorites. I came up with Reckoning Day, a day on which criminals and trolls alike are subjected to judgement from their glorious leaders, us! We also came up with multiple holidays regarding the start, middle and end of winter, including Merrymead and others. Overall it was a jolly good time. We decided not to claim any more land for the time being, as we had everything sort of stable at the moment and we wouldn’t want to get too over our own heads. What could go wrong!
Oi, I’ll tell ya one month later things started to go real wrong real fast. We came back from another scoutin’ trip and what do we feast our eyes upon? A big bloody fire and some folk yelling about a bear and a bird or something. T’ be honest, I wasn’t really listenin’ to em anyway. Next thing ya know we racing off to fight the bugger, and I haven’t even gotten to settle down yet!
Once we got to boyo’s house, things really went to hell in a hand basket. Captain Ugly comes lumbering at us from a cave, and all I can do is try and not get ripped ta ribbons. I get hit straight in the kidney, but my pally the paladin comes over and lets me recover. Good guy that man is. Anyway, we smacking this beasty up but it just gets more and more angry. I tried to grab it but I couldn’t even reach the bloody thing’s waist! However, my mates were more than prepared for this kiddo and it was over in no time at all. We found some weird wizard hibbity bibbity but I didn’t know what to make of it. Leave that kind of thing to the blabber mouths ey?
Anyway problemo solved and we all get home for dinner. Well, if you count trail rations as dinner that is.
-Apollo Creed (Zack B.)
The owlbear also had an elven corpse next to it, wearing a ring of animal control. Curious, isn’t it? (-GM)