Razor Coast: Heroes Beat EXCLUSIVE Inside look at Celebratory Party

23 Sep


This is Munahele reporting on the huge party that occurred after the defeat of the shapeshifting dragon. As I was there, being a part of the group, I have all the juicy details and all the important conversations that went on during this crazy bash.

Before the party even started, the guests started to arrive. The whole thing took place at the mansion, and all sorts of guests were there. First, were the hosts, the main group, but other interesting faces that arrived were the Frost Giants, all the way from Carcass, Xander Brim, Mokoli Ali’i, and even the Chelish ambassador.

The night kicked off with a couple of speeches by Calypso, Lily, and Nolgrin. During the last speech everyone started to fall asleep because of the boring nature of it. It was a pure typical Nolgrin moment. He got quite offended, and stormed off stage, to his basement room while silly Elliot made some jokes to get people to wake up. Doesn’t he know people can’t hear while they’re sleeping? It was like he was Nolgrin, being so bad with crowds. Eventually some people wake up and started listening to his jokes, but the conversation turned in an entirely different direction when people noticed the painting and statues at the back of the stage. Xander Brim had to come up and show off his painting, Bookworm by Xander Brim. The painting didn’t look that nice, which made Xander a little sad, so as he was explaining the statues, which were tributes to previous members of the team, he started to cry. Erynis, the caterer, had to go upstairs and get Gwenelyth’s old tear bucket for Xander.

To cheer everyone up after the awkwardness of the last three speeches, Mallan came onstage, and invited the ambassador up for a karaoke version of A Whole New World. That got everyone dancing, and officially the partying had begun. Mysteriously during the music, a light show of illusions started happening, like Gwenelyth was back from the grave making everyone have a good time. The was a dancing yellow thing that would occasionally yell SPONGEBOBU! There was also particularly sexy cyclops woman that was standing there flirting with nobody in particular. Also, somehow Amy the Celestial Ankylosaurus was back from the nether realm, giving rides to people, in front of the mansion. She was looking great with her purple and pink polka dots shining in the light from inside.

Over to the side, Killian was getting wasted with the giants, drinking blizzard, and bragging about how he used to be unkillable or something. His words were very slurred after drinking so much of the extremely strong alcohol. Calypso and I were not getting drunk while drinking it and were attempting to get Rukus to have some. Rukus refused and an intense conversation broke out.

“You’re just a goody two shoes grippli!” yelled Calypso as a crowd gathered around.

“No, it is just that alcohol does nothing for me, so it would be pointless drinking the disgusting substance,” Rukus replied, clenching his fists.

Then, Calypso whispered something to me and I exclaimed, “Wait! It might be poison, IS IT POISON?”

Rukus perked up at that and yelled, “I can spit poison as a weapon, let me check!” He dove into the drink like the frog he was and popped out a moment later spitting blizzard everywhere. “THIS ISN’T POISON! It’s just an evil, mind affecting effect, stop asking that!”

We rushed off, with Rukus on our tails, attempting to teach us a lesson. The tiki were tweeting with excitement. Then, from across the room, I heard Reyda Vance complaining that now we didn’t have a designated driver, because Rukus had drank. She was wondering how we would get home to our mumbo jumbo mystic hut.

A while later, after Rukus had calmed down, many people had started dancing. In the center some Pele worshipers were break-dancing and man did those Pele people have power on the dance floor. They were masters. But suddenly the music dimmed a lot and we were looking around to figure out why, when we saw Lily putting them to her ears, making it louder and more intense for her, but worse for everyone else. The Pele people were about to challenge her to a dance off, when I recognized one of them as Pyf, the old broken skull fighter. This distracted them long enough for Erynis to bring out the food. The food that night was delicious, from some gumbo straight out of Aunt Zima’s Guide to Resurrection, and some seaweed cakes that were tasty, but seemed to make people constipated. Joe, our helper was there to help people find their way to the bathroom.

Outside, Xander was being sad, watching Amy give a ton of Tulita kids rides, when some spellcasting fans came outside and asked him to demonstrate the all powerful Prismatic Spray. They summoned some T-Rexes to do the spell on, when typical Nolgrin ran around in glee with the potential battle. Xander yelled at him to move because he was just going to demonstrate a spell, and Nolgrin turned into one of those stupid sad dwarves. Suddenly, one of the dinosaurs, getting hungry, ate Nolgrin whole. This alarmed everyone, even though things always ate Nolgrin. To protect Nolgrin from dying, he cast the spell which impressed all the spellcasting nerds so much, that they pissed their pants. It was pretty disgusting, especially with a gut covered Nolgrin running around screaming in joy.

We had to stop him, because inside, Joe’s new band, Joe and the Shark Boys were playing their new hit, All Hail Dejobas, a tribute to the war of the weresharks. It was pretty great, and I didn’t know Joe could sing that high. The night ended with stories about the past teams, and their adventures. Sadly, nobody from those teams were alive to recount the tales themselves.

-Munahele (Emmett)

1 Comment

Posted by on September 23, 2015 in Razor Coast 2


One response to “Razor Coast: Heroes Beat EXCLUSIVE Inside look at Celebratory Party

  1. ronaldsf

    November 20, 2015 at 8:15 am

    THIS WAS AWESOME, Emmett! Best writeup ever!


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