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Razor Coast #29: Debts to pay! Pirates to capture! That’s right; it’s summer!

10 Jul

Nolgrin/Nate Graves serves us our next writeup! –GM

22nd day of Lamashan, 4713 AR

I didn’t ask to govern Port Shaw. I’d rather be out in the open air, vanquishing evil as I go. Espur was a lot more fun; a growing, thriving nation. But Port Shaw; a stinky little town containing more alcohol than fresh water? I’d rather break my amulet.

port-shaw2

It turns out that the previous government of Port Shaw owed 800,000 gold pieces to Cheliax, mostly because they were spending it on “pleasantries,” the dirty little bunch of purple flowers…

It turns out that the previous government of Port Shaw owed 800,000 gold pieces to Cheliax, mostly because they were spending it on “pleasantries,” the dirty little bunch of purple flowers. We had to promise a Chelish diplomat that we would give a minimum of 16,000 pieces each month to pay it off. Stupid fiend-worshipping Cheliax. One of Cheliax’s respected devils was so cranky; it threw a fit just because the diplomat was eating our complimentary krakenfiend sushi. Someone should really conquer that awful place. Perhaps a nation starting with “G” and rhyming with “buildhaven” will rise up and-OW!! My amulet just turned scalding hot! How odd.

To lighten the mood, Erynis suggested that we go hunting. We ended up catching a brachiosaurus. Elliot, a treant, and Erynis’s dinosaur Raze dragged the left side of the dinosaur through the town (because that’s how cool we are). Everyone got so excited, they made a holiday named Erynliciouvitch to celebrate this catch. The Tulita got weeks worth of food.

dragoon

We were going to negotiate with the former Dragoon ship peacefully, but nooooo, they had to point their cannons at us.

We found out that no merchant ships had sailed in for weeks, which would eat into our taxes. We were on a boat disguised as a merchant ship, eating Erynis’s delicious gourmet dinosaur, when a former Dragoon ship sailed alongside us. We were going to negotiate with them peacefully, but nooooo, they had to point their cannons at us. A big fight started, with some of us unsuccessfully trying to knock Dragoons overboard. We eventually won the fight and decided to sell the Dragoons as slaves to Cheliax to help repay the debt. Sarisa really wanted to torture them for fun before we sell them, but we decided against it since they needed to look healthy.

See, Dragoons? If you didn’t point your cannons at us, we might have let you go on with your pirate business. Instead, you became Chelish slaves, and they treat slaves there very badly. Hostility bites, people!

Signing off,
Nolgrin

====================

XP so far:

Bob’s Mom (Lily) – 232,492
Calypso – 283,906
Erynis – 305,106
Gwenelyth – 360,777
Nolgrin – 351,106
Rukus – 289,906
Sarisa – 305,127

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7 responses to “Razor Coast #29: Debts to pay! Pirates to capture! That’s right; it’s summer!

  1. Enzo

    July 10, 2015 at 5:00 pm

    You forgot to mention the earthmother. How can you forget your own wife? Hahahaha, noone gets it but me and nate.

     
  2. ronaldsf

    July 10, 2015 at 6:50 pm

    YES! The Tulita fortune teller was ill, and said that her visions of fire and giant worms were overwhelming her. She sent the party to talk to a legendary wise woman who is rumored to be immortal, and she lives in the mountains.

    Also, the volcano near Port Shaw let out some puffs of smoke and ash, which has everyone on high alert.

     
    • Nate

      July 12, 2015 at 7:27 am

      I was going to write about that, but… you know… writer’s block.

       
  3. Emmett

    July 11, 2015 at 6:43 pm

    what happened with the necromancer stuff in the sewers? Did we just ignore it?

     
    • ronaldsf

      July 11, 2015 at 7:07 pm

      YES! (Muahahahaa!)

       

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