Nolgrin/Nate Graves serves us our next writeup! –GM
22nd day of Lamashan, 4713 AR
I didn’t ask to govern Port Shaw. I’d rather be out in the open air, vanquishing evil as I go. Espur was a lot more fun; a growing, thriving nation. But Port Shaw; a stinky little town containing more alcohol than fresh water? I’d rather break my amulet.
It turns out that the previous government of Port Shaw owed 800,000 gold pieces to Cheliax, mostly because they were spending it on “pleasantries,” the dirty little bunch of purple flowers. We had to promise a Chelish diplomat that we would give a minimum of 16,000 pieces each month to pay it off. Stupid fiend-worshipping Cheliax. One of Cheliax’s respected devils was so cranky; it threw a fit just because the diplomat was eating our complimentary krakenfiend sushi. Someone should really conquer that awful place. Perhaps a nation starting with “G” and rhyming with “buildhaven” will rise up and-OW!! My amulet just turned scalding hot! How odd.
To lighten the mood, Erynis suggested that we go hunting. We ended up catching a brachiosaurus. Elliot, a treant, and Erynis’s dinosaur Raze dragged the left side of the dinosaur through the town (because that’s how cool we are). Everyone got so excited, they made a holiday named Erynliciouvitch to celebrate this catch. The Tulita got weeks worth of food.
We found out that no merchant ships had sailed in for weeks, which would eat into our taxes. We were on a boat disguised as a merchant ship, eating Erynis’s delicious gourmet dinosaur, when a former Dragoon ship sailed alongside us. We were going to negotiate with them peacefully, but nooooo, they had to point their cannons at us. A big fight started, with some of us unsuccessfully trying to knock Dragoons overboard. We eventually won the fight and decided to sell the Dragoons as slaves to Cheliax to help repay the debt. Sarisa really wanted to torture them for fun before we sell them, but we decided against it since they needed to look healthy.
See, Dragoons? If you didn’t point your cannons at us, we might have let you go on with your pirate business. Instead, you became Chelish slaves, and they treat slaves there very badly. Hostility bites, people!
XP so far:
Bob’s Mom (Lily) – 232,492
Calypso – 283,906
Erynis – 305,106
Gwenelyth – 360,777
Nolgrin – 351,106
Rukus – 289,906
Sarisa – 305,127