Razor Coast 2, #15: The Snapping Turtle Snaps Back

01 Feb

Previous post in this campaign

11th day of Arodus, 4713 AR

scorpionTheren, your host with the most: “This was demon central and I hated it…”

Welcome back to telling you about everything we do, with your host, Theren!

So, Sarisa and I were standing right by the entrance to a room filled with small, fat, horrible smelling dretch demons. As they poured out, we would try to hit them. In the other room, Naelgoar, Fitz, and Kelnar were fending off more ugly little demons. First, Naelgoar killed a couple, while Kelnar and Fitz shot some. One of the ones near me, farted and Sarisa started coughing.

I felt something try to take over my mind, but surprisingly, it didn’t work. After a little bit, Sarisa ran away and Naelgoar ran over to help me. The fart dissipated and I see a little flying demon who had tried to take over my mind. Kelnar killed another demon then more little flying ones came. Fitz ran away because he thought he could shoot the demons I was attacking from far away, but instead he said everything went black and three things beat him to unconsciousness. They hopped out to attack other people when more flying demons came. This was demon central and I hated it.

Eventually, Sarisa stopped coughing and started to slash and shoot her way out of the pile of demons surrounding her. Naelgoar kept fighting until someone passed gas again (I swear it wasn’t me.). I quickly started coughing so I retreated out of the fog and saw a slimy lizard thing, that had knocked Fitz out, run up to me. I couldn’t do anything so I was being beaten. In the other room, Kelnar used a spell and flew into the air. Two demons through spears at him, as the flying one flew up to him. He shot them all, and then Naelgoar ran in with demons trailing behind him.

Sarisa ran into the fog and after hearing my cry for help, ran to help me. I stopped coughing too, but I was extremely injured. I kept fighting and eventually killed a couple of them. After a while they knocked me, unconscious to the floor. As I was unconscious, I saw a weird vision of a giant flask of alchemist fire that was burning. There was a dretch demon in the background laughing, and I was burning on the ground.

scorpionNaelgoar ran into the room trailing the demons and we probably would have died if the snapping turtle hadn’t snapped back.

In the real world, Kelnar flew into the room where Fitz had been brutally beaten. Quickly though he was also knocked out. Naelgoar ran into the room trailing the demons and we probably would have died if the snapping turtle hadn’t snapped back. And of course, Naelgoar was our defensive crazy snapping turtle. He was dangerous and hard to hurt (that’s why I called him a snapping turtle, get it?). He pushed his way through the horde and knocked one over. Next, he grabbed a potion of cure moderate wounds off of my belt and pushed his way back to Kelnar.

Naelgoar force-fed the potion to Kelnar, who then popped up and healed everyone with his magic.

We got back up and Naelgoar tried to insult the demons, “Your mother is a succubus!” he yelled.

“My mother IS a succubus,” the demon said back as it cackled. Little did we know, that was a bad thing.

We killed them all and finally, we could rest. Kelnar healed everyone’s injuries completely with his wand. We then put the bodies into the corpse of the giant scorpion and burnt it. Behind us, Sarisa and Fitz were being naughty.

Nobody liked that so we ordered them to get up (after Kelnar tried to join) and we went to the room full of barrels. Kelnar flew up to the top and found a crate full of nails. When he moved that and opened a barrel up, it was filled with alchemist’s fire. Naelgoar judged that if they were all filled with that, it could blow up a small portion of Port Shaw.

We kept walking, until we heard a woman crying. We ran into the room and there was a beautiful woman inside of a cage.

“Please let me out,” she said when she realized we weren’t the demons. “They beat me so much, I just want to leave.”

“Why are you here? Why did the demons want you?” Naelgoar asks.

I look around before she answers and see that everyone is staring at her, but Sarisa looks like she wants to kill her because Fitz is one of the people staring.

“I own an alchemist shop, so the demons want me to get them alchemist’s fire,” she says after I look around.

scorpionWe decide to break her loose, so I break the lock and she runs over and clings to me. She kisses me and Kelnar immediately looks suspicious…

We decide to break her loose, so I break the lock and she runs over and clings to me. Kelnar stomps his foot and Sarisa looks a little relieved but still bloodthirsty. She kisses me and Kelnar immediately looks suspicious. She kisses me twice more and I feel a little weaker. I push her off me, but she points a finger at me and I’m under her control.

Sarisa shoots her gun at the woman and it goes through her arm as she laughs. I run over and hit Sarisa with my double axe. Kelnar racks his brain and figures out that the woman is a succubus demon. I told you that the demon’s mom being a succubus was a bad thing.

Anyways, Naelgoar, Kelnar, and Fitz run into the cage where the succubus retreated. Sarisa pulls out her sword and slashes at me. Finally, Kelnar tries to hold me with magic, but my will is too strong now that I’m under the enchantress’ control.

-Theren (Emmett)


XP so far:

Fitz – 37,752
Naelgoar – 36,952
Sarisa – 36,952
Kelnar Redman – 36,952
Theren – 51,865

Previous post in this campaign


Posted by on February 1, 2014 in Campaign, Pathfinder Chronicles, Razor Coast 2


Tags: , , , , ,

23 responses to “Razor Coast 2, #15: The Snapping Turtle Snaps Back

  1. ronaldsf

    February 1, 2014 at 11:44 am

    I remember telling Emmett, “The woman kisses you over and over.”

    Then Nate says, “I don’t like the sound of this.”


    • Emmett

      February 1, 2014 at 7:25 pm

      No kissy no kissy

  2. bob

    February 1, 2014 at 10:55 pm

    They need a wizard

  3. enzo is cool

    February 3, 2014 at 4:59 pm

    oh yeah? WE DON’T NEED NO DANG WIZARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. otto1337

    February 3, 2014 at 5:04 pm

    the succubus’s picture is actually shayliss vinder from rise of the runelords.
    but good luck.

    • ronaldsf

      February 3, 2014 at 9:34 pm

      They didn’t know that at the time ;D

  5. Jasper

    February 3, 2014 at 5:40 pm


  6. Jasper

    February 3, 2014 at 5:41 pm

    here, thats better

  7. bob

    February 3, 2014 at 7:20 pm


    • ronaldsf

      February 3, 2014 at 9:35 pm

      Hmm maybe. Btw “bob” is Moises yallz

  8. Athos

    February 4, 2014 at 8:40 am

    hmmmm that picture looks oddly familiar…

  9. otto1337

    February 5, 2014 at 8:45 am

    this whole discussion is lolz

  10. enzo is cool

    February 10, 2014 at 3:34 pm

    long live theren

    • emmett

      February 10, 2014 at 3:36 pm

      thats not enzo… HACKERS!

  11. Jasper

    February 10, 2014 at 3:37 pm

    Im Enzo

  12. otto1337

    February 10, 2014 at 3:38 pm


  13. Tom Knauss

    February 12, 2014 at 7:14 am

    Great to see that you guys are still going strong in Razor Coast! Any plans on running Jungle Fever or Angry Waters in the future? I ran Jungle Fever for my group, and it went pretty well.

    • ronaldsf

      February 12, 2014 at 6:25 pm

      I’m afraid not — I’m pacing for us to finish the campaign in June, so we’re ramping up for the amazing finish! Awesome of you to stop by! 😀

  14. Jasper

    February 12, 2014 at 4:43 pm

    therein might die

  15. Jasper

    February 12, 2014 at 4:43 pm



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