Wrath of the Righteous 1, #3: Angelic Thighs

14 Dec

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17th of Arodus, 4727 AR


Horgus Gwerm:

skull-crossbones5Horgus Gwerm

This dwarven wizard is so annoying, not only did he blind me but he hurt my comrades! Then he turned invisible and I had the wonderful idea of if we hit him then he might turn visible again! So I was there, the only one with any sense telling these idiots to hit him, nobody even listened! Finally Rudis figured out what I was saying and punched the little wizard in the gut, he turned visible (as I suspected) and fell to the ground. Then suddenly everyone started bombarding me about more money! I’m already giving them 1,000 gp and thats a good deal seeing that I’m doing half the work anyway, but then Rudis brought up the Crusades, now thats a subject I care about so I decided to raise the payment to 1,100 gp, which I think is more than fair.


I was walking along, Oblivia guiding me, when I heard a crumbling sound, a smash, and a scream. Oblivia’s hand left my arm, I stumbled and fell. Who screamed? Are they ok? After a few minutes I felt Oblivia helping me up. She told me that a boulder had fallen on Sophia but that she was well enough to walk. After we had continued for about half a mile or so, everybody stopped and I heard voices, familiar voices at first, then a voice that I had never heard before now. Later they told me that these people where the mole people! The mongrelmen that I had studied all my life!

Lann (mongrelman of the Neathholm Tribe):


Crel was trapped under a rock that had fallen from the watch tower and we had no means of getting him out. Dyra had suggested going to others for help but I didn’t like the idea of leaving him there. Suddenly we heard footsteps, we looked around and saw a group of people, but not just any people, surface people. They seemed to be of good intention so I called out to them saying that we needed assistance and if you were willing we would be very gracious if you helped us. They talked among each other for a moment, then they turned to me and agreed to assist us. The strongest of them pushed as the rest helped. After about 15 minutes, they managed to push the boulder off. They wanted to help us fix the tower so I brought them to the Chief. Unfortunately the earthquakes that had caused the watchtower to collapse, had also done some damage to the tunnels. We found a deep chasm in our way, and the man who moved the boulder off of Crel, having the least armor, climbed down. at the bottom there was nothing of significance so he climbed up on the other side. Him and another strong looking man held the rope between them as the rest of us crossed. Now only the paladin was left, he took a few steps back, did a running start and jumped… suddenly his thighs sprouted wings and he glided gracefully to the other side of the chasm. It was one of the most– no, the most — majestic thing that I have ever seen.

Chief Sull of the Neathholm Tribe:


I was in my private cavern, enjoying a cocktail (shaken, not stirred) when suddenly 2 of my subjects walked in escorting 7 others who seemed to be adventurers except for 1 and he seemed to be a noble. Lann told me that these people helped move the tower rubble off of Crel and now want to help rebuild the tower. I heard about the demon invasion on the surface that caused all the earthquakes and that they were trying to reach the surface. if this was true then the demons were a threat to us all, I sent messengers to the other Tribes and asked them to deliver a message to the surface that we were willing to help the Crusades. Also, I asked them to rid us of the traitors to the south, which held the exit to the surface. They agreed. They also said something about one of them jumping across a chasm, they called it “angelic thighs.” Anyway they seemed nice enough and I let them stay the night.

Sinyore of the Neathholm Tribe:

Today I em cooking e lavly lof of bread zat I reseeved from a random adventurer. Ferst put ze bread in e fryon pan, zen cook it over stov and leave it for 20 minute, wile bread is cooking set ze table (saves time), zen you must put erbz such as time, rose Mary, and garlic, zen I will put in ze secret engreedient (TO FIND OUT WHAT THE SECRET ENGREEDIENT IS CONTACT ATHOS ARGUE-HASSANEIN!)


Well first of all I want you to know that I am a very lazy narrator that’s why I haven’t shown up until now, they forced me into it, there I was having a nice bath when suddenly- oh well maybe that’s for another time well anyway what I’m trying to get to is that I’m going to try and wrap this up very quickly so here goes. The party eventually left to get to the surface. They decided to disguise as succubuses, or is it succubi, well anyway 2 of them morphed into succubus form because they had heard that these mutants worshiped demons. We’ll let me just say that that didn’t work too well, they ended up cornered in a room holding back the doors, however I must say even I was impressed with Horgus Gwerm here let me show you some of their thoughts.

Horgus Gwerm: “Wow I’m even more useful then normal!”
His allies: “Wow Horgus Gwerm is finally doing something a tiny bit useful for once!”
Unfriendly mutants trying to get in: “Wow I don’t know what happened they must have blocked this door with an elephant or something I can’t get through!”



XP so far:

Ezuri: 2,230
Hayaku: 1,880
Oblivia: 980
Rudis: 1,880
Sophia: 2,080

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