Kingmaker #2: It’s Beginning to Feel a Lot Like Skyrim

24 Jun


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Dear whoever is reading this,

These are dangerous events that might make your eyes bleed from pure awesomeness. These are the events of an awesome band of heroes led by a somewhat lethal, extremely good-looking ninja who was a half-time foxperson. The second part of their adventure has been found by my college loremaster Grubdioz. The shocking events described in the diary tell of the heroes that shaped the kingdom of Zaar and founded the Zaaran religion. It tells of their extremely epic quest for fame and glory and (in the case of the monk) true enlightenment. I urge you to keep reading and discover part of the tale that shaped our kingdom and was turned into legend.

Here begins the account of the diary of Skia Canticum, Royal Assassin to the House of Zaar, Councilmember of the High Zaaran Court…

First two weeks of Pharast, 4680 AR

Kressle, the bandits' leader.

Kressle, the bandits’ leader.

We explored the twelve miles that were close to Oleg’s Trading Post in the morning. Everything went fine until Xotani’s horse hit a bear trap. Oculus and Ur were in the cart that started up again after my horse was cycled in to the cart puller slot. We found a river and crossed it some hours later. As we explored some more, we found an old watchtower. There was a man in the watchtower. Oculus attacked the watchtower by pretending he was a child.

As we discovered to our dismay, he shouted for help and soon many bandits came flooding onto the battlefield. I was the only one who didn’t get knocked out at some point, as the battle was long and hard. After an epic critical front flip and a considerable amount of fire, Xotani blinded some bandits, which won us the battle and helped clear what we found out was the Thorn River Camp. After that truly epic fight, we headed back to Oleg’s Trading Post after getting a good night’s sleep and the following info from the bandit leader:

“The Stag Lord is a man who is very strong. He loves alcohol and lies to the south along the river. The pass code as of a week ago to get into the camp was ‘By the bloody bones of Saint Gilmore, who wants to know!’ The pass code has probably been changed since then because the pass code changes regularly.”

After we disposed of the bandit, we walked back to Oleg’s Trading Post and met some of our friends (the 0 level characters) there. We met a hunter guy on the way who turned out to be a trapper. He later told us that a ghost haunts a bridge that spans the Shrike River. Bandits ruined the bridge but the ghost is still there.

After some rest, we went to gather some moon radishes (galushushishushimushinush radishes) for Svetlana and found a hermit selling potions who gave us a quest, which invented a new marching song, “It’s Beginning to Feel a Lot Like Skyrim.”

We avoided a whiptail centipede giant and killed some kobolds and called it a day.

Thus ends the entry.

As you can see the adventurers came far in their Quest and eventually founded the kingdom we have today. Should more pages of this diary fall into my hands I shall record them as best I can.

Ziara Bloodbane
-Head recorder of Zaar, formally of Port Shaw

“It’s Beginning to Feel a Lot Like Skyrim”

(to the tune of Its beginning to feel a lot like Christmas)

skyrimbardessIt’s beginning to feel a lot like Skyrim
Rushing all over town
People give me quests
And I try to do my best
To help them out.

It’s beginning to feel a lot like Skyrim
Quests in every town
People give me stuff to do
And I will tell you the truth
It freaks me out.

It’s beginning to feel a lot like Skyrim
Quests are filling up my log
I really love this wine
By Zaaran it tastes fine
I hate this song.

– Galen

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Posted by on June 24, 2013 in Campaign, Kingmaker, Pathfinder Chronicles


Tags: , , ,

3 responses to “Kingmaker #2: It’s Beginning to Feel a Lot Like Skyrim

  1. Rasputin Nightflame

    June 24, 2013 at 7:10 pm

    My name isn’t Grubdioz, its Zoidburg! John f*cking Zoodburg!

    • simonthegreatlord

      June 24, 2013 at 8:27 pm

      Its zoidberg,not zoidburg

  2. simonthegreatlord

    June 24, 2013 at 8:26 pm

    Funny,except skaroband is not the leader ,oasin is


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